I want my toy sword back!

[HSoares]

Not sure if I'm retarded because this can't be a nightmare, it's too stupid.

One day at night, when I was about 8, at my grandmother's house, while she was washing dishes, I had this toy sword. I was playing with it in the kitchen, while the rest of the house had lights off and empty.
Then, she gets tired and takes it from me (I was hitting her back, but not with much power...), and so I cried.
I went to the dark corridor crying and sat on the floor, still crying.
Then somehow I'm in the middle of my parents bed and they ask me why the heck was I crying?!
I tell them the story they said it was a dream.
Never saw the sword again... until a day, a few 3 or 4 years ago (I'm 17 now) I saw at my dad's house mixed with other toys from when I was little.

I either have retarded nightmares or what?

 

[Samstwitch]

Well, it sounds like you had a sword when you were little...and you also had a dream about your grandma taking it away from you. Maybe one time she did take it away from you, maybe she even hid it away so you wouldn't be able to play with it. That might have given you the dream.

There are many possibilites here. But you don't sound retarded to me. Have you been with or lived with abusive people? (Verbal abuse included.) You sound like you lack self esteem, and I'm wondering what caused that.

On another note...you're a 17-year-old male and you've got raging testosterone. I raised 3 sons and 17 was a very difficult age for all of them. (And if teenage boys don't have a supportive father-figure, it is an especially difficult time.)

 

[HSoares]

Well, it sounds like you had a sword when you were little...and you also had a dream about your grandma taking it away from you. Maybe one time she did take it away from you, maybe she even hid it away so you wouldn't be able to play with it. That might have given you the dream.

There are many possibilites here. But you don't sound retarded to me. Have you been with or lived with abusive people? (Verbal abuse included.) You sound like you lack self esteem, and I'm wondering what caused that.

On another note...you're a 17-year-old male and you've got raging testosterone. I raised 3 sons and 17 was a very difficult age for all of them. (And if teenage boys don't have a supportive father-figure, it is an especially difficult time.)

I have only two memories of the sword, one being taken by my grandma, and the other finding it 3 or 4 years ago.

Well, I sort of... my life is a mess, and I thank that to my dad and mom, and I'm not a rag doll.
They're divorced...
Just because they made me, fed and clothed me for 17 years it doesn't mean they own me like I'm
a "thing" they can't fight over. Thanks to it, I've lived for 2 years in... care house or whatever it's called,
for children without parents/parents with conditions to have kids.
There was some trully bad people, 2 threatned me with a knife... in the end, they left and I felt more
peace for around 4 months until my mom took me to the UK, London, against my will.
I hate my life and myself.

What is... raging testosterone, is that a good or bad thing?
My dad is 76 years old, my mom is 43 or 44 (not sure) and is not present.
Also I don't really trust many people, I don't even share secrets with my dad or mom, and
if I had to go to a psychologist, I'd promise myself I'd remain shut.

I feel alone and just want this nightmare life to change...

 

[Ernistine]

Well, it sounds like you had a sword when you were little...and you also had a dream about your grandma taking it away from you. Maybe one time she did take it away from you, maybe she even hid it away so you wouldn't be able to play with it. That might have given you the dream.

There are many possibilites here. But you don't sound retarded to me. Have you been with or lived with abusive people? (Verbal abuse included.) You sound like you lack self esteem, and I'm wondering what caused that.

On another note...you're a 17-year-old male and you've got raging testosterone. I raised 3 sons and 17 was a very difficult age for all of them. (And if teenage boys don't have a supportive father-figure, it is an especially difficult time.)

I have only two memories of the sword, one being taken by my grandma, and the other finding it 3 or 4 years ago.

Well, I sort of... my life is a mess, and I thank that to my dad and mom, and I'm not a rag doll.
They're divorced...
Just because they made me, fed and clothed me for 17 years it doesn't mean they own me like I'm
a "thing" they can't fight over. Thanks to it, I've lived for 2 years in... care house or whatever it's called,
for children without parents/parents with conditions to have kids.
There was some trully bad people, 2 threatned me with a knife... in the end, they left and I felt more
peace for around 4 months until my mom took me to the UK, London, against my will.
I hate my life and myself.

What is... raging testosterone, is that a good or bad thing?
My dad is 76 years old, my mom is 43 or 44 (not sure) and is not present.
Also I don't really trust many people, I don't even share secrets with my dad or mom, and
if I had to go to a psychologist, I'd promise myself I'd remain shut.

I feel alone and just want this nightmare life to change...

You're not alone HSoares. Don't give up. Keep going. This is all happening for a reason. You might not be able to see it but one day it will all become clear.
I can tell there's hate inside you. Use it. There's sadness. Use it.
Don't give up. You're not alone. There are others going through things very similar.

 

[Ernistine]

I once had a really retarted dream. I was in a place called cloud land, and I was being chased by murderous lollipops. And then it was in an auditorium with Abe Lincoln at the podium giving a speech. Weird thing was there were pink ballet slippers tap dancing on his hat. No one seemed to notice but me.
Just though I'd share.