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Time Traveler Busted for Insider Trading

Discussion in 'Time Travelers' started by penrose, Dec 9, 2004.

  1. penrose

    penrose New Member

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    Time Traveler Busted for Insider Trading

    'TIME-TRAVELER' BUSTED FOR INSIDER TRADING
    Wednesday March 19, 2003



    By CHAD KULTGEN

    NEW YORK -- Federal investigators have arrested an enigmatic Wall Street wiz on insider-trading charges -- and incredibly, he claims to be a time-traveler from the year 2256!

    Sources at the Security and Exchange Commission confirm that 44-year-old Andrew Carlssin offered the bizarre explanation for his uncanny success in the stock market after being led off in handcuffs on January 28.

    "We don't believe this guy's story -- he's either a lunatic or a pathological liar," says an SEC insider.

    "But the fact is, with an initial investment of only $800, in two weeks' time he had a portfolio valued at over $350 million. Every trade he made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which simply can't be pure luck.

    "The only way he could pull it off is with illegal inside information. He's going to sit in a jail cell on Rikers Island until he agrees to give up his sources."

    The past year of nose-diving stock prices has left most investors crying in their beer. So when Carlssin made a flurry of 126 high-risk trades and came out the winner every time, it raised the eyebrows of Wall Street watchdogs.

    "If a company's stock rose due to a merger or technological breakthrough that was supposed to be secret, Mr. Carlssin somehow knew about it in advance," says the SEC source close to the hush-hush, ongoing investigation.

    When investigators hauled Carlssin in for questioning, they got more than they bargained for: A mind-boggling four-hour confession.

    Carlssin declared that he had traveled back in time from over 200 years in the future, when it is common knowledge that our era experienced one of the worst stock plunges in history. Yet anyone armed with knowledge of the handful of stocks destined to go through the roof could make a fortune.

    "It was just too tempting to resist," Carlssin allegedly said in his videotaped confession. "I had planned to make it look natural, you know, lose a little here and there so it doesn't look too perfect. But I just got caught in the moment."

    In a bid for leniency, Carlssin has reportedly offered to divulge "historical facts" such as the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden and a cure for AIDS.

    All he wants is to be allowed to return to the future in his "time craft."

    However, he refuses to reveal the location of the machine or discuss how it works, supposedly out of fear the technology could "fall into the wrong hands."

    Officials are quite confident the "time-traveler's" claims are bogus. Yet the SEC source admits, "No one can find any record of any Andrew Carlssin existing anywhere before December 2002."

    Weekly World News will continue to follow this story as it unfolds. Keep watching for further developments.

    http://tv.yahoo.com/news/wwn/20030319/1048...4808600007.html

    November 11, 2004
    The Truth is Out There
    Securities Litigation Watch is on red-alert following an alarming discovery today and yes, SEC, we're talking to you. Since January 2004, SLW has slept well at night knowing that our nation's securities markets were free from the corrupt influence of time-travelers who would exploit their time-traveling informational edge through insider trading. As you may recall, the SEC comforted the market with this statement, discussed here back in January, in Question 19 of the "FAQ" section of its website:

    "Question: Is the Andrew Carlssin case for real?

    Your Answer: Many investors and other members of the public have asked us about news reports concerning the Andrew Carlssin, an alleged "time-traveler" who supposedly made a fortune in the stock market by trading in the year 2003 based on information gleaned from his travels to the future. The reports appear to be a hoax. The SEC has not, in fact, brought an enforcement action against any such person."

    Imagine my anxiety, then, when I clicked on what had been the link to this seminal FAQ and found . . . nothing. Now the link goes to a general index entitled "Fast Answers ? Key Topics" and call me crazy but I do not see Andrew Carlssin, time travel or anything related on that page. Panicking, I plugged Carlssin into the search box on that page and turned up . . . nothing. Hands shaking, I tried the same search on the entire SEC website . . . nothing.

    Then I was off to Google to find the "cache" of the old webpage . . . nothing. Yahoo? Nothing.

    Clearly something is going on. If the SEC has now confirmed the existence of this time-traveling insider trader, then doggone it, just tell us. We can handle it. I think.


    http://64.233.179.104/search?q=cache:XvoVg...2&hl=en&start=8
     
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  3. StarLord

    StarLord Senior Member

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    Time Traveler Busted for Insider Trading

    Didn't Martha Stewart take one of his work shops, and she paid him with fresh baked cookies she made from jail which were sent back in time to when the work shop ended?
     


  4. penrose

    penrose New Member

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    Time Traveler Busted for Insider Trading

    *LOL the only thing that they are letting Martha make at Alderson is her bed. :p
     


  5. CaryP

    CaryP Senior Member

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    Time Traveler Busted for Insider Trading

    Hi penrose, and welcome to the plantation.

    Thanks for the article, but we've been through this one before. The Andrew Carlssin story was a hoax published in a rag known for its "fantasy" stories. Might want to check out a previous thread located at http://www.timetravelforum.net/forums/inde...?showtopic=1085

    We covered this one about a month ago. Don't be discouraged though, it's an interesting read. The only way for the story to be true would be if this ficticious character had exact "lows" and "highs" of specific stock prices. To turn $800 into $350 million in two weeks time is impossible. That's a return of 43,749,900% in two weeks. The stock market is something I do for a living. Prices just don't move that fast. This guy would have been noticed by lots of people including the financial press way before $350 million had been reached. The other problem would be establishing identity. The Patriot Act includes, among other things, a host of new anti-money laundering laws. The identity of a new client opening an account requires picture ID and a run of their social security number through a centralized screening process to determine if this person is 1) real and 2) not wanted by DHS. In addition, the NASD has a "know your customer" rule. You can't open an account for just any knucklehead walking in off the street. I doubt many brokers would have opened an account with a whopping $800 to begin with. Ain't worth the paperwork. Most, if not all, of the online trading firms have a higher minimum than $800 as well. The other problem with a time traveller armed with exact intra-day highs and lows of individual stock prices would be the multiple time lines theory. Stock prices could be different with the "divergence" thing. 126 high risk trades that were all winners in a two period just ain't possible, especially to the extremes quoted in the article. You'd have some losers in there, and you wouldn't get close to $349.999,200 in profit. The other part of the story that I read way back when this thing came to light, was that Carlisson made bail, and disappeared. If he was arrested for insider trading, his account would have been frozen. I don't think two weeks would have been long enough to establish a relationship that would have had someone put up the bail money. Plus, whoever put up the bail money would have had to reveal their identity. Ain't gonna happen. Anyway, thanks again. Sorry for the boring details.

    Cary
     
  6. StarLord

    StarLord Senior Member

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    Time Traveler Busted for Insider Trading

    If no one has said anything lately Cary I must. Your posts are killer. I really enjoy the depth, work and effort that you always put into your posts. You are indeed a mainstay and intragal part of this board and I for one am very proud to be associated with folks of your caliber. Thank you.
     
  7. CaryP

    CaryP Senior Member

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    Time Traveler Busted for Insider Trading

    Uh, well, uh, geewillikers, and thanks StarLord. Just trying to contribute.

    Cary
     
  8. GVT12

    GVT12 Junior Member

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    Time Traveler Busted for Insider Trading

    Uh, well, uh, geewillikers, and thanks StarLord. Just trying to contribute.

    Cary
    [snapback]17592[/snapback]​
    [/b][/quote]

    [​IMG]

    Let's put it this way,

    say for the sake of argument that it is possible to accelerate yourself through time with some exoctic form of a pocket accelerator - whatever. It would not be impossible to say the least for someone to make a story like this come true.

    The most wonderful thing about the future is that we can invent it!
     
  9. GVT12

    GVT12 Junior Member

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    Time Traveler Busted for Insider Trading

    Uh, well, uh, geewillikers, and thanks StarLord. Just trying to contribute.

    Cary
    [snapback]17592[/snapback]​
    [/b][/quote]

    [​IMG]

    Let's put it this way,

    say for the sake of argument that it is possible to accelerate yourself through time with some exoctic form of a pocket accelerator - whatever. It would not be impossible to say the least for someone to make a story like this come true.

    The most wonderful thing about the future is that we can invent it!
     
  10. sosuemetoo

    sosuemetoo Senior Member

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    Time Traveler Busted for Insider Trading

    Moving this thread to a more appropriate topic.
     
  11. sosuemetoo

    sosuemetoo Senior Member

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    Time Traveler Busted for Insider Trading

    Moving this thread to a more appropriate topic.