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Spirituality & Mysticism
tired
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<blockquote data-quote="label" data-source="post: 239881" data-attributes="member: 5940"><p>I feel like a NPC in a video game, it is like my potential is != true and my tiredness is a constant == true. It feels like my thoughts are being rewritten with every update and it feels like God just doesn't know what to do with me. </p><p></p><p>I am deeply spiritual and highly technical at the same time, I say this not to get some ego kick but because I am trying to understand what is pushing back on me, what force is acting so harshly on my soul. </p><p></p><p>The world and everything in it hates me hurts me and want to see me burn and fall, I take comfort that I am not the first as my religion told me that my God was hated by this world long before air filled the lungs of those before me. </p><p></p><p>Imagine how special each of us are, we are the genetic result of a moment in time when two energies the masculine and the feminine became as hone. We are planned from day one to exist because I don't believe in randomness or chance. Each of us exist because we NEED to exist. Our paths no matter how long or how short they are was planned to the second. Each atom in our brain was made to be there at that point in time. </p><p></p><p>How magical is this thing called life, how wonderfully it is designed. Pattern after pattern, movement after movement, energy filled every moment before now to make now possible. Imagine what mind is created all of this how absolutely amazing it is. </p><p></p><p>Now why do I feel so defeated, why is my energy so low, why can't I push past my default programming. Energy upon energy created new life and that life created more life and eventually gave life to us. Th breath of God is within each of us. There is no other explanation there is ONLY the soul that animate and binds the body and mind to spirit and being. It is spectacular and I should be grateful to be alive, living feeling and knowing that this is special that this life is special. </p><p></p><p>why do I feel so bad all the time when I have so much to be grateful for. Every masculine and feminine energy before me lives in me, ALL of my being was made from them. Every atom, every thought is possible because God allowed for it. </p><p></p><p>WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME... I see into the darkness and I know the light is within me, I know I am alive, living, breathing, thinking in short this soul must know that the body and mind must push on. </p><p></p><p>I think it is time to turn myself off and back on again, give the mind a moment to clear and refresh. In short I need to book myself in for sleep therapy... </p><p></p><p>God is not done with me I know this because I am still alive, maybe God needs me to open my eyes again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="label, post: 239881, member: 5940"] I feel like a NPC in a video game, it is like my potential is != true and my tiredness is a constant == true. It feels like my thoughts are being rewritten with every update and it feels like God just doesn't know what to do with me. I am deeply spiritual and highly technical at the same time, I say this not to get some ego kick but because I am trying to understand what is pushing back on me, what force is acting so harshly on my soul. The world and everything in it hates me hurts me and want to see me burn and fall, I take comfort that I am not the first as my religion told me that my God was hated by this world long before air filled the lungs of those before me. Imagine how special each of us are, we are the genetic result of a moment in time when two energies the masculine and the feminine became as hone. We are planned from day one to exist because I don't believe in randomness or chance. Each of us exist because we NEED to exist. Our paths no matter how long or how short they are was planned to the second. Each atom in our brain was made to be there at that point in time. How magical is this thing called life, how wonderfully it is designed. Pattern after pattern, movement after movement, energy filled every moment before now to make now possible. Imagine what mind is created all of this how absolutely amazing it is. Now why do I feel so defeated, why is my energy so low, why can't I push past my default programming. Energy upon energy created new life and that life created more life and eventually gave life to us. Th breath of God is within each of us. There is no other explanation there is ONLY the soul that animate and binds the body and mind to spirit and being. It is spectacular and I should be grateful to be alive, living feeling and knowing that this is special that this life is special. why do I feel so bad all the time when I have so much to be grateful for. Every masculine and feminine energy before me lives in me, ALL of my being was made from them. Every atom, every thought is possible because God allowed for it. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME... I see into the darkness and I know the light is within me, I know I am alive, living, breathing, thinking in short this soul must know that the body and mind must push on. I think it is time to turn myself off and back on again, give the mind a moment to clear and refresh. In short I need to book myself in for sleep therapy... God is not done with me I know this because I am still alive, maybe God needs me to open my eyes again. [/QUOTE]
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