Dear Married People of Paranormalis (or members who have kids): GET IN HERE

[SomethingCursed]

I'm a fairly young guy (not old enough to even legally drink yet), but I've always wanted to pass on my genes.. ever since I was.. 13 or 14 years old. It's just something I've always had a drive and push to do.

The concept of having a son or daughter, admittedly, pushes me on to flirt and try to pickup just about every suitable (see: attractive) woman in my vicinity. (I've been at my new job for not even a week, already went for 4 girls lol. All blondes! Working on my 5th. Driven, not desperate (; I'll find a suitable mate here eventually! cx)

But there is still something in the back of my mind telling me to NOT do such a thing, yet, my head (both kinds) is telling me that I MUST have kids, so i'm kind of at odds with myself here.

There is a sort of.. struggle, going on.

I have many concerns here, divorce can be devastating not only to the family but to ones personal piggy bank. Kids can weigh you down and prevent you from accomplishing things that you've always wanted to.

On the flip side however, you will have a sort of informal insurance policy. If SHTF, you have people there of your own blood who wouldn't mind (ideally) to take care of you should you fall ill.

There is the plus of having something here when you leave, if you die after having kids.. a certain part of you will always live on.

If you didn't like the way your dad (or mom) raised you, you have an opportunity to do something different.

Having kids is a positive thing, it's a blessing. And in a world full of distrust, negativity and struggle.. it's kinda nice having something like a kid to look after. It's nice being able to have a relationship with a brand new human that you and someone else has created.

It's a miracle tbh.

But kids (and divorce) can suck away every dime you've ever made and will ever make. Not to mention alimony, lawyer fees, court costs and child support if SRHTF.

So, again, i'm at a loss here. It's like, damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I'm going to be very successful in life, in my career (see: day job) and beyond. But I don't want to have success at the expense of not having kids.

I tend to believe in a certain unpopular pseudo-scientific principle.. and I believe it applies to me. That is, my genes are too damn good NOT to pass on. I'd be doing a disservice to mankind if I decided to opt out of having kids. Just being honest here.

Basically, what is your opinion on having kids and/or getting married? Would you recommend it? If you could go back in time and tell your younger self one thing.. would you warn him/her to not have kids?

Is divorce really as terrible (financially and otherwise) as I'm told?

And finally, what advice would you have for an 18 YR old guy from America who is planning on having kids in the very near (see: 3-5 years, ideally a bit earlier) future?

Do you believe marriage is an essential part to having kids? Can one not be married, have kids and still have a successful family there?

P.S. I already have a full-time job that isn't dead-end, there is a very real opportunity to make more money, it's a pretty stable company in a world of outsourcing and automation etc. I can see it being here in 50 years.

So if I had kids right now, we wouldn't need to go on the dole or anything. The question of funds isn't an issue.

I understand having kids is a very personal decision/choice, it's entirely up to the person at hand. But we all can benefit from advice or input from others from time to time.

Don't have a ton of life experience here, maybe there's something about this equation (see above) that i'm missing here. Don't want to make shot-in-the-dark life changing call w/o some kind of feedback (or advice et cetera) from someone who (preferably) has been there, done that.

~Peace

 

[JasperMoon]

I'm a fairly young guy (not old enough to even legally drink yet), but I've always wanted to pass on my genes.. ever since I was.. 13 or 14 years old. It's just something I've always had a drive and push to do.

The concept of having a son or daughter, admittedly, pushes me on to flirt and try to pickup just about every suitable (see: attractive) woman in my vicinity. (I've been at my new job for not even a week, already went for 4 girls lol. All blondes! Working on my 5th. Driven, not desperate (; I'll find a suitable mate here eventually! cx)

But there is still something in the back of my mind telling me to NOT do such a thing, yet, my head (both kinds) is telling me that I MUST have kids, so i'm kind of at odds with myself here.

There is a sort of.. struggle, going on.

I have many concerns here, divorce can be devastating not only to the family but to ones personal piggy bank. Kids can weigh you down and prevent you from accomplishing things that you've always wanted to.

On the flip side however, you will have a sort of informal insurance policy. If SHTF, you have people there of your own blood who wouldn't mind (ideally) to take care of you should you fall ill.

There is the plus of having something here when you leave, if you die after having kids.. a certain part of you will always live on.

If you didn't like the way your dad (or mom) raised you, you have an opportunity to do something different.

Having kids is a positive thing, it's a blessing. And in a world full of distrust, negativity and struggle.. it's kinda nice having something like a kid to look after. It's nice being able to have a relationship with a brand new human that you and someone else has created.

It's a miracle tbh.

But kids (and divorce) can suck away every dime you've ever made and will ever make. Not to mention alimony, lawyer fees, court costs and child support if SRHTF.

So, again, i'm at a loss here. It's like, damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I'm going to be very successful in life, in my career (see: day job) and beyond. But I don't want to have success at the expense of not having kids.

I tend to believe in a certain unpopular pseudo-scientific principle.. and I believe it applies to me. That is, my genes are too damn good NOT to pass on. I'd be doing a disservice to mankind if I decided to opt out of having kids. Just being honest here.

Basically, what is your opinion on having kids and/or getting married? Would you recommend it? If you could go back in time and tell your younger self one thing.. would you warn him/her to not have kids?

Is divorce really as terrible (financially and otherwise) as I'm told?

And finally, what advice would you have for an 18 YR old guy from America who is planning on having kids in the very near (see: 3-5 years, ideally a bit earlier) future?

Do you believe marriage is an essential part to having kids? Can one not be married, have kids and still have a successful family there?

P.S. I already have a full-time job that isn't dead-end, there is a very real opportunity to make more money, it's a pretty stable company in a world of outsourcing and automation etc. I can see it being here in 50 years.

So if I had kids right now, we wouldn't need to go on the dole or anything. The question of funds isn't an issue.

I understand having kids is a very personal decision/choice, it's entirely up to the person at hand. But we all can benefit from advice or input from others from time to time.

Don't have a ton of life experience here, maybe there's something about this equation (see above) that i'm missing here. Don't want to make shot-in-the-dark life changing call w/o some kind of feedback (or advice et cetera) from someone who (preferably) has been there, done that.

~Peace

No you don't have to be married to have kids. But I suggest you take your time and find the right person to marry if that's the way you want to go. there is more to life out there than having kids. But they can be a wonderful thing. You already will be a better parent than yours because you are so concerned about this and their welfare. Parenting is difficult at best. But also children need abundant guidance and parents who WILL GUIDE them. Take heart. Get a few more years on you. Take a parenting class before you decide. And of course there is always adopting an older child, being a single parent is also an option. If you take a long hard look at this and think about how YOU want it to be, I know you will make the right and caring decision. Gook luck.

 

[Hazzie Hippie]

Hi there

I’m not married either. But I also do want to have kids one day.I plan to meet a guy first . And then get married of course but I’m not in any rush yet.

But first my plan is too save some money .Have an decent place for me.Then worry about all that. But I do eventually plan to at least have one kid.And adopt another one .Or maybe just adopt one and that’s it . But I’m not thinking about it.Cuz I already have college to worry about .That is stressful enough lol

 

[SomethingCursed]

Hi there

I’m not married either. But I also do want to have kids one day.I plan to meet a guy first . And then get married of course but I’m not in any rush yet.

But first my plan is too save some money .Have an decent place for me.Then worry about all that. But I do eventually plan to at least have one kid.And adopt another one .Or maybe just adopt one and that’s it . But I’m not thinking about it.Cuz I already have college to worry about .That is stressful enough lol

Eh. To each his/her own. Personally though, I don't see why one would wait. I mean.. I can die at any time, any day. The clock has already started ticking. I've come close to meeting the Grim Reaper on more than one occasion now. People always tell me precisely what you have.. but what if you die tomorrow?

What if you don't make it past graduation?

When i'm coming back from work at night, high beams are in my eyes, and my mind wanders through the sea of stars.. I always think to myself;

"what if someone swerves into my lane at the last minute, is suicidal and wants to take someone with him tonight? I couldn't avoid it fast enough. I would be dead.. my airbags wouldn't even deploy. I'd be utterly crushed in this car, i'd be DOA"

And there'd be no one to tell people what I was like at my funeral . . . That thought.. man.. it puts everything into perspective. The only thing that matters in life is having kids, from my POV of course.

But yea man. College... Good for people who can do that, not for me though. Life is far too short in my opinion. I have kids to have amigo!

What are you studying? That would determine whether or not college is worth it. Gotta make sure you can get a job when you get out!

To end though, I want 5.

If it were up to me, i'd have 40 (10 wives, 4 kids each on average). As many kids as I can get, with as many different women as I can realistically afford. INB4 I commit financial suicide and have nothing in 10 years lol.

But Alas! I'm not a King nor do I have access to loads of wealth to justify 40 kids, unfortunately.

Adoption doesn't count!

 

[Hazzie Hippie]

I’m majoring in Astrophysics

College Is not bad actually . Anyways I remember when I was 9 years old telling my parents that I wanted like 10 kids lol.

 

[SomethingCursed]

I’m majoring in Astrophysics

College Is not bad actually . Anyways I remember when I was 9 years old telling my parents that I wanted like 10 kids lol.

Username checks out.

10 kids is far too many, how could you contain them all? They'd be running around Walmart like chickens w/ their head cut off.. knocking everything off the shelves xD. 3 in the buggy, 4 doing circles around you. 1 is lost, 1 is fast asleep and the other won't stop crying. Good times, good times.

5 or 6 is enough for me though. Get one wife, have 3 kids with her.. later in life, find a blonde chick or something. 3 kids by her. 6 in total. Never divorce the first one, just keep like 2 families so to speak going side-by-side!

Yea, 6 is enough for me. 5 minimum, 6 maximum.

But Astrophysics.. ehhh. I don't entirely understand the subject, but don't you need that to become an astronaut or something? Is that your end game here?

Good luck amiga! just don't flunk out, no pressure or anything. Not like it's expensive to get that kind of degree. If you fail out, you're not gonna have a good time. Again, no pressure. Just make sure you pass!

And don't drop out.

Bankruptcy doesn't cover student loans. Remember that, no pressure

 

[Hazzie Hippie]

I had a friend who had 8 siblings. Talk about a full house lol

My plan was to chose astronomy as a major.But the college here doesn’t have it.So I chose Astrophysics .But eventually I plan to get a job down down here on Earth though lol related to Astrophysics or anything space related

 

[NaturalPhilosopher]

you won't listen but I'll say it anyway
never ever marry an american or any woman from any westernized nation(us, canada, spain, france, uk, portugual,)
End of story.
find foreign exchange students only.

These rules apply to western culture but not to others with normal women:

 

[Harte]

Do right, be nice, pay some attention, and you won't have to worry about divorce - unless you've made some extremely poor choice for a spouse.

Get married before you have kids. I understand accidents happen, and I wouldn't recommend marrying someone because of a pregnancy, but you should do that too if it seems a decent choice at all.

It may sound a little haughty, but I'm telling you - none of you that don't have kids even know what love really is.

If there are any reasons at all that we are here, other than complete coincidence, I say that to love and to learn are the only things on the list.

Harte

 

[NaturalPhilosopher]

Harte to be honest you're one of the most hateful spiteful people on this entire site.

That being said, the statistics show that if you marry the first person you make love with, your chances of divorce are 10%. If you slept with 2 people before marriage goes to 20%, if more than before marriage 50% chance.

Studies also show that women who have sex with more than 5 partners in their entire lives, cannot ever emotionally connect to a 6th. It's probably the intuitive reason for slut shaming.

Regardless american women are so sexually active overall past a certain age(very young) that 98% aren't marriage material. Just avoid at all costs. Can still have an enjoyable relationship and marriage with them for idk, let's say 10years. Then it's over. Enjoy dating in your 40's and 50's.

American women reserve the right to change ethically at any point at any time. So even if you find a unicorn or even just someone that is marriage material, the american culture doesn't shame unethical behavior by women no matter what they do.

Always remember. Takes real strength of character to see the truth in societies that are collapsing. People in america only pretend to be happy, that's the last value they have, never showing their true feelings. So don't take advice from them. They will destroy ya.

Get married, have kids, live wonderfully, get divorced, lose everything, get reputation destroyed, and see ur kids once or twice a month on the weekends while dating other divorced 40 and 50 something women with stepkids. Funz.

So never ever lose your high income cuz your personal life charade will expose itself. Fake and strong relationships don't survive prolonged lowering of lifestyle.