Forum Game Dumb Joke Of The Day


Wind7

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Two strings walk into a bar, the bartender sees them and yells, "we don't serve strings...get out


Sounds Exhausting.

;)
The funny part to me, now that I've noticed is... I have no idea where the "two strings walk into a bar" part of my post came from. o_O

Strange.

(I edited it out .)
 
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titorite

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A cop pulled a man over for speeding around one in the morning. Once he got to the window the cop asked the man 'Where are you trying to get to in such a hurry"? then man replied "Im attending a lecture on the dangers and harm of alcohol and its effects on the human body" and to which the cop asked "And just who is giving this lecture at one in the morning"? and the man replied "My wife"
 
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This is an oldie, but...


The storm was fierce, and showed no sign of abating. The flood waters were already covering the streets.

The man was standing in front of his house. A pickup truck ceased its slow progress along the street (which was rapidly becoming a river) long enough for the person inside to shout to the man, "Come on! I'll take you to safety!"

"No, thanks," the man replied. "My God will save me."

The pickup moved on.

The storm continued. The man now watched, from his upstairs window, as the flood waters continued to rise. Some rescue workers in a small boat floated by.

"Come on!" they implored. "The storm is only getting worse. This may be your last chance!"

"No," said the man. "My God will rescue me."

The boat moved on.

Hours passed. The man, who was now perched upon the roof of his house, saw a helicopter in the distance. It moved closer. Someone with a bullhorn in the helicopter was shouting,

"Come on, you fool! Let us get you out of here, or else you're going to die!"

"No," said the man. "My God will deliver me."

Well, the helicopter moved on. The storm continued. The waters rose. The man drowned.

The man found himself in Paradise. And he was pissed.

"Why, O Lord?" he whined. "I believed in You and You let me die! Why? Why?"

A voice responded,

"Hey, dude," the Voice said. "I sent you a truck, a boat, and a damned helicopter! What the hell more did you want?"
 
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titorite

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A bald , wizened, little old man was rocking in a chair on his porch, smiling happily. A passerby, charmed by his smile, came up to him and said "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look. Whats you secret for a long happy life?" "Well I smoke 3 packs of cigarettes a day, eat whatever I want, drink about case of whiskey a week , and never exercise.? the old man smiled through a toothless grin. "WOW no way! And how old are you now sir?" and the old man replied " 26"
 

TimeFlipper

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A mother visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl as a room mate....

During their meal his mother could not help but notice how pretty his room mate was...

She had been suspicious of their relationship, and this only made her more curious!

Over the course of the evening while watching the pair interact, she started wondering if there WAS more to their relationship..

Reading his mothers thoughts, the son said, i know what you must be thinking, but i assure you, we are only room mates..

About a week later his room mate came to him and said, ever since your mother came i cannot find the silver plate, could your mom have taken it?....

He said, well i doubt it but i will email her just to be certain..

Dear Mom..After your visit to me, the silver plate has been missing..

Now iam not saying that you took it, and iam not saying that you didnt take it, but the fact remains that the silver plate has gone missing..Love from your Son.

Several days later, he received an email from his mom which said..


Dear Son..Iam not saying that you are sleeping with your room mate, and iam not saying that you dont sleep with her...

However, the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now..Love Mom