Blog Shyness: A blessing or a curse?

I’ve always been a bit shy. I can chit-chat with people any day, but when it comes to opening up, I have difficulty…
Growing up as the baby of a big family, there was always a battle for attention; a battle I mostly sat out for. I still find myself “sitting out”, even as an adult.

I sometimes feel like it gets me nowhere in life. It’s not that I have nothing to say, it’s just when it comes to new people, I clam up. You have to put real work into getting me to open up and for most people, it’s just not worth the time or effort - which I understand. Maybe I’m not meant to “fit in”...

But one good thing that comes from this is that when I do make a connection, it’s usually a genuine, long-lasting one.

Does anyone else have this problem? If so, how have you overcome or dealt with it?

*The Musings of an apple*


Active Member
Define true "shy"

People always thought I was shy---in reality I was not shy.
I just wasn't that interested in talking to most people because
I'll admit I felt a tiny bit mentally above them. Not all---but most.

As I got older I got more into talking. Right when COVID hit and it was too late.


Active Member
As to whether it's a blessing or curse?
It can be either and depends on the situation or context.

A blabbermouth can give away information stupidly that shouldn't be for example.
On the other hand you need good negotiators and diplomats.

So--------you know.
For every action there's an equal and opposite reaction.


Active Member
Most people who detest political correctness would probably say "IT'S A CURSE PERIOD IT ALWAYS IS!!!"
and view it as a weakness. But in reality it has nothing to do with any of that shit.
PC culture destroyed civilized society and made everyone think being an arrogant jerk is wonderful,
which is supposedly the opposite of what they intended.


Active Member
It's the same thing with being nice.
People say "Oh you should ALWAYS be nice!"

some people even think you should always be nasty

no, it depends.
It isn't as simple as good and bad or jedi and sith.
And NO one gets this. It's unbelievable.
A lot of people nowadays are even saying to themselves
"Oooh, I think I prefer evil I'll identify as evil," which used to be almost unheard of, or "I'll identify as a goody two shoes good guy who's always right and just and kind"

Most humans are immature.
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Active Member
I don't consider myself Christian (mostly cuz I'm a tad on the sinning side, not too severe just a tad but that's too much for most 'true christians', so I accepted Jesus just in case they're right, and I actually think they might be)

BUT, there is wisdom in the Bible, here it is:

Ecclesiastes 3​

New International Version​

A Time for Everything​

3 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
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I've been shy most of my life, still am sometimes, depends on how I feel.

While it can be a problem sometimes, I believe it forces you to develop other tools you wouldn't have otherwise. Like you said, it often makes you connect better with the few people you do connect with. That's one.

Shy people are often introvert, thoughtful. That's good. You probably thought of things, have solutions for problems others haven't thought of yet. Also to problems you created yourself when thinking about "stuff", but that's a story for another day!

It's probably good and bad at the same time. But it's way more good, than bad in my opinion.