Happiness

Happiness

This last day or so has seen me evaluating some of my most fundamental values, a lot of what I have unveiled has not made me happy. This has caused me in the last few hours to consider happiness and all it means. I thought that I would share my thoughts here, that you may consider and reach your own opinions. In doing so, you may pause and consider your own personal happiness and how best to achieve it.

I have learned one thing from my recent experience. Happiness is essential to life.

Happiness: The elusive state of consciousness.

Happiness is simply an emotional state of feeling good, of being free from pain and unpleasant emotions.

Unfortunately, happiness is an elusive state of mind that all men strive for but few attain.

As Thoreau told us in Walden: "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation."

However, once we understand the mechanics and principles of Happiness, we realize that there is no need for and no point in being unhappy, ever.

There are no free lunches in life but anybody can achieve lasting happiness if he makes the effort to absorb the underlying principles involved. Unhappiness used to be considered an unavoidable part of human existence. Knowledge and rationality can help us overcome this dilemma.

Most people oscillate between short bursts of happiness and long periods of neutral emotions or unhappiness. Only recently have we gained the insight that happiness need not merely be an involuntary emotional response to outside events. Happiness can be purposefully achieved, maintained and enhanced by our rational mind.

Human problems and unhappiness can exist only when our actions, perceptions or expectations are not in alignment with objective reality: When we do not clearly understand what is really happening in the objective reality of our world around us. What is Objective Reality?

Objective Reality is everything that exists with or without human acknowledgment. What we call "nature" is the small part of Objective Reality that surrounds us and, of course, people are just as much part of Objective Reality, as trees, the ocean or other galaxies. Objective reality is everything that just simply exists. Objective Reality existed long before humans inhabited the world. It will exist long after we as individuals, or even the human race, will have disappeared.

If we could have total, absolute knowledge and understanding of Objective Reality, we would be in complete alignment with the world around us. Conflicts and problems would disappear because they can only arise when our perceptions or our expectations are in conflict with Objective Reality. It is as simple as that.

Can we really "choose" to be happy or unhappy? Answering this question gives us the first opportunity to face Objective Reality head-on: Merely saying that something can be done just because we choose to do it, choosing between inaccessible alternatives, is counterproductive: I cannot jump to the moon merely because I choose to do so.

However, there is nothing to stop us from getting to the moon, if we see the reality of the steps necessary to accomplish it: To provide ourselves with the technology, with the knowledge required, to build the rocket to get to the moon.

Before we can choose to go to the moon, before we can choose to be happy or unhappy, it is absolutely essential that we have an exceedingly clear view of objective reality without fudging, wishful thinking or irrationality.

We need to have a clear view of the way the world really is and the connectivity of man to the universe. We need to segregate relevant knowledge. such as Gravity and Probability, from knowledge that is irrelevant to human existence, such as the Big Bang. From cosmology to geology, from evolution to psychology, we need to provide ourselves with the clearest possible perspective of the way things really are.

We have to take a hard look at such relative, human concepts as fairness, patriotism, pride, beauty, honor, religion, good and evil, altruism, and other perplexing ideas. Many of these ancient concepts, these icons, are obsolete in view of our current knowledge of the universe. We have to decide which of these icons need to be replaced with a reality based fact-system.

Above all, we must clearly understand that human "problems" are always the result of our misalignment with reality. In order to be closely aligned with objective reality we need to separate the wheat from the chaff. The more we dig, the more chaff we have to shovel. From politics to love, from economics to sex.

Most people have a severely distorted world view. They are stumbling through life, confused, aimless and unable to achieve happiness . Most of these distortions are generated by inadequate education and faulty conditioning. We need not be intellectual giants, but a minimum of intelligence is helpful for a clear understanding of the world around us.

Persons who rely on religion for guidance through the shoals of life have to overcome a particularly obstinate impediment: They need to abandon the illusory comforts of a belief system that is steeped in irrationality, and replace it with a reality-based fact system. However, many religious persons have probably harbored doubts about the effectiveness of their belief system. They merely need to come to grips with the fact that there are new and more effective means of dealing with the realities of life. That is not to say that belief in a religious sense is invalid, merely self defeating inevitably.

Many people are ineffective in recognizing the reality of problematic situations and thus do not have the option of choosing between happiness and unhappiness. However, it is within the grasp of modern man to acquire a very thorough understanding of Objective Reality and of man's position in the universe.

And yet, even with the best tools of modern science we can perceive only a fraction of the environment in which we are submerged. It is inherently impossible for man to have total knowledge of reality. Therefore it is not possibly be in total alignment with Objective Reality at all times.

It is the human lot to have some conflicts and problems. And yet, by perceiving Objective Reality as clearly as humanly possible, we can minimize our conflicts and can thus optimize our happiness.

Who would rather cry than laugh? Who would choose to be unhappy if it is just as easy to be happy?

If we take responsibility for our emotional response to all events in our life, there is nobody else to blame if we are not happy! The choice is ours alone.

Laugh, and the world laughs with you; weep and you weep alone.

"Happiness depends upon ourselves." --- ARISTOTLE

Be happy and make personal happiness your one and only mission in life. The rest will fall into place.

EDIT: Got the text tags wrong again.

Happiness

Interesting post Grayson. Here's my take on happiness. I agree that it's a fleeting emotion. It comes and goes throughout the day. Coffee already being made by the time you wake up = happy (unless you have the expectation that someone else is supposed to have already made it). Spilling part of breakfast on your work clothes and you have to change = unhappy. Being surprised by the very light traffic on the way to work = happy (unless you dread going to work, and prefer the heavy traffic). Running out of gas on your way to work = unhappy. I'm sure you get the picture

But the range of emotions available to us at any one time is dependent on the mood we're in, especially the mood(s) we tend to live in most of the time. A discipline I've studied over the last 17 years or so is the Ontology of Language. Great distinctions for effective action as human beings. From this discipline are four primary moods that most humans operate out of:

Peace - acceptance of the "facts" of life

Ambition - acceptance/embrace of the possibilities of life

Resentment - rejection of/conflict with the "facts" of life

Resignation - rejection of/conflict with the possibilities of life

Peace and ambition come as a pair. So do resentment and resignation. Kind of hard to be peaceful and resigned, or ambitious and resentful at the same time. Living out of peace and ambition will experience a lot more "happy" moments. Living in resentment and resignation will still experience "happy" moments, just less of them.

So is happiness something to be pursued? My take is no. It comes and goes. Life is a big training ground or school if you will. To be learning is to experience problems or breakdowns. Do you know anyone who's figured it all out, and doesn't need to learn anything at all? I don't. So while we're all here in the cosmic kindergarten, our ongoing learning process called life will hand us breakdowns causing temporary absence of happiness.

I prefer to pursue satisfaction. What is satisfaction? Lot's of definitions to go around there, but this is my favorite because it boils it down succinctly. Satisfaction equals enough action. In other words

if I make $X per year, I'll be satisfied,
if I live in X kind of house and neighborhood I'll be satisfied,
if I meet X conditions of health and fitness, I'll be satisfied,
if I have X conditions in my relationship/marriage I'll be satisfied
if I have $X a month to live on in retirement, I'll be satisfied
if I achieve X position at work, I'll be satisfied
if I could lower my gold handicap to X, I'll be satisfied
if I could learn X hobby/sport/trade, I'll be satisfied
you get the picture

Problem is most people (Americans are my overwhelming experience) don't have a clue about what would be enough action for them to be satisfied - in almost every aspect of their lives - totally clueless. There's a general malaise of "this ain't it" and "what's missing". Generally, what's missing is some reflection and soul searching for what would be "satisfaction" in their lives (i.e. what kind and how much action produced by them would result in satisfaction in the different areas of life). Most people just aren't that rigorous. Not are they not only clueless about what satisfaction is, they don't even know what the question is (what would it take to satisfy you here?). There's a "victim" mentality of "this ain't it" "what's missing" "why isn't my life perfect, and who's fault is it." Why have lawsuits become a veritable religion in the US? We've denagrated into a culture of resigned, resentful, whining victims looking for someone else (God, the government, society, luck, the cosmos, the lottery, anybody will do) to hand us that magic "something" (money, better relationships, better job, better place your current source of unhappiness here ) that will suddenly transform our lives into one non-ending happy fest. Unfortunately, it don't work that way little children. Does this apply to everyone? Absolutely not. My commentary here is about societal trends. Resigned and resentful are the norm - most of the mind numbing, sleep walking masses, quietly (sometimes loudly) leading those lives of desperation as Mr. Thoreau pointed out.

That's why people who live primarily in peace and ambition are such a treat. They light up a room. We're attracted to them. They stand out. I'm not talking about vicious, aggressive sharks whose ambition is to never have enough, but always covet more. These types are usually the least happy - they never have enough and they know it. I'm talking about the rare people who seem to know where they're going, and work diligently to get there, while empowering others along the way. Warren Buffett of Berkshire Hathaway fame is probably one of my favorite examples. I would venture that some of the coaching "greats" also fit the bill here.

The other breakdown with satisfaction is demanding a result in areas beyond our control. The really everyday, bite you on the ass example is other people. If only he/she would just be/not be like that...I'm sure you know this one. Other examples here could fill volumes... all the crap people whine about on a daily basis that is totally out of their control, yet they have some huge emotional investment in being dissatisfied and "unhappy" about it. It becomes one of their "raisons d'etre." A lot of what I'm talking about here are those "facts" of life. How many people do you know that are in denial of, non-acceptance about, raging against the machine about common stuff you can't change like;

your age
your sex
your height
your race

your looks (yes, cosmetic surgery can change a person's looks, but how many beauty queens have you heard about having major insecurities about their looks)

your past relationships (friends, parents, children siblings included, not just love interests. Know anyone bitter over ex-spouses, damaged relationships with one or more family members?)

your past in general (You can't change the past actions you've taken, but you can change the interpretation.)

This post is getting longer than I intended so I'll conclude here.

If you want to experience more happiness, you have to be clear about what satisfaction is for you in a lot of areas of your life. The more the better. Over time you'll will have to redeclare what is satisfaction. Over time what satisfies you will change. Life is an ongoing process of learning. What satisfies you today will not satisfy you after new learning over time. Some area of life causing you problems? Ask yourself the question, "what would satisfy me here?" You have to be able to answer the question in terms of ACTION YOU can take (yes, you have to get off your ass and do something) to eventually accomplish desired results. The really BIG satisfactions usually don't come easily or quickly. It's easier to accomplish the BIG satisfactions if you break them down into a series of smaller, but progressive satisfactions. If you're asking the question "does this have something to do with goal setting?" uh, yeah. Goals give us direction and purpose. Their acheivement gives us the learning along the way, and the SATISFACTION upon completion.

If your dissatisfaction/unhappiness can not be resolved by your actions (i.e. changing other people, changing the '"facts" of life, etc.) you might as well get over it, accept it, and embrace it so you can have PEACE about it. Of course you can opt to continue suffering about it, but you'll experience less happiness.

If you've made it to here. Thanks for reading. Sorry to be so long winded on a Sunday morning. Kinda "preachy" of me huh. :lol: (Oh, God, I just used a damn smiley face! What's happening to me???)

Cary

Happiness

And you wanted me to believe that you were a dumb hick???

Now, I need to think on this afore I reply and appear the hick.

Happiness

We can only eat one meal at a time.
We can only wear one shirt, pants, socks, shoes at one time.
We can only travel in one direction at one time.
We (as men) can only do one thing at a time. (women amaze me when they multitask)
We can only sleep in one bed at a time.
We can only be with one woman at the same moment in time (don't go there)
We can only bathe in one tub at a time.
Luckily we can talk to alot of friends at one time but they all have to be listening to us and not talking.
We can listen politely, nod and smile during the lulls, as all of our friends talk to us at the same time.

Happines is a state of mind. We can make our life a heaven depending upon our outlook and lack of expectation.
We can make this place a living hell depending upon our outlook and overload of expectation.
Expect nothing from your fellow humans and view them as spiritually evolved souls and this place can be paradise.
Expect people to cater to your selfish whims and see only their faults and you're gauranteed a trip to Dante's 7 level Hotel of eternal heat while your still alive.
Treat others as you would be treated for a LONG ENOUGH PERIOD and great things just start falling out of the woodwork.
Be kind to yourself always.
Refuse to compare yourself against others.
Each of us are a single facet on the great diamond known as God
Give your wisdom away and you make room for more to come. Hold on to it and hoard it and the well will dry up.

Happiness

Curious that you should mention shoes, it sparked this off in my mind.

Aristotle, elaborated on the principle of moderation by postulating the principle of diminishing returns, as applied to the monetary sphere. Being an astute observer of human traits, he stipulated that an upper limit is imposed on the utilitarian use to which money can be applied. Since money is a human invention, human nature determines the measure of such optimums

If we have no shoes at all, we suffer from pain and discomfort. We will be inefficient in the pursuit of our objectives, such as hunting for game. Such complete lack of shoes represents life below the threshold of minimum necessities and puts our life at risk.

If we own one pair of shoes, we can function rather effectively, but we cannot compete for food or other essentials if our shoes are wet or if they need repairs.

If we have two pairs of shoes, we can be certain of having proper footgear at all times, a condition representing the optimum combination of needs and resources.

If we acquire more than the optimum of two pairs, we conflict with the law of diminishing returns. Three pairs of shoes will provide only a slight advantage because it may provide the opportunity to rotate shoes to avoid blisters. We need to weigh this slight advantage against the cost of acquiring, maintaining and safeguarding the extra pair of shoes.

The principle of diminishing returns will become even more obvious when we insist on acquiring the fourth, fifth and sixth pair of shoes. Since we can only wear one pair of shoes at a time, these additional shoes will not increase the quality of our life but will, instead, make us more concerned about their potential theft.

If the possession of shoes is a matter of survival, and if many needy people have no shoes at all, they will incur considerable risk to separate us from our unneeded shoes. Ultimately, to possess 300 pairs of shoes in the spirit of Ismelda Marcos, will lead to ridicule or even disaster, as she discovered to her chagrin.

This illustration illuminates the Aristotelian principle of diminishing returns as it pertains to man, his money and his possessions: Total lack of money, signifying the lack of physical resources that money represents, can mean deprivation or even death. A minimum of resources will keep us alive but will provide little in the way of life?s joys. An optimum match of human resources and human needs will provide us with all necessities for survival and will provide us with the opportunity to enhance our happiness by reducing or eliminating most adversity and pain from our existence.

Beyond this optimal point, we burden ourselves with anxiety about the potential loss of our resources, with the additional cost of acquiring them, with disproportionate benefits and with the additional burden of protecting our possessions from predators or from the hazards of time and decay.

All that from one pair of shoes, shame on you for provoking me with that article of clothing. :lol:

Happiness

Ahh, but you DID bite didn't you my friend?

Happiness

Ahh, but you DID bite didn't you my friend?

Wonkers!!! The Acoustics here are Bloody Amazing!!! Grayson, strike me dead if I lie, but Mate, I did not imput this twice. Bleedin Amazin, that Is.

Cant wait to tell Jedi and Satan about the echoes in Happiness. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Happiness

No need to repeat yourself, I got it the first time.

Happiness

"The greatest crimes have been commited with the best intentions"

Happiness is a double edged sword so to speak, everyone strives to achieve happiness, a good feeling, and the satifaction it brings them, and to the person him/herself it is worth doing anything possible to get it, but... happiness is the root of the best moments of life, and the greatest evils also.

Everyone has their own way of obtaining happiness, weather it be working in the profession of your choice, doing something exciting, or helping someone else out, everyone goes out of their way, and in a sense, out of their senses also, to forfill the plee of happiness, but it isn't always that great.

Like light and darkness, is like happiness and unhappiness, what is darkness?? You may say its the word itself, and thats how many people identify it, but darkness in reality, is just an abstace of light, without light there is darkness, without darkness there is only light, so light is the only reality in this situation.

So we can also say that happiness is the only reality as well, but what does that matter?? Well, if happiness is the only reality in this situation, and it is the root of what I would like to say is the reason to all actions, then all of the worst things in life spawn from happiness as well as the best.

When someone insults someone else, it takes away their happiness, and the insulter gains some through the laughs and feeling of superiority, so the other person who is addicted to the great feeling of happiness attempts to take the happiness back by insulting back to "even the score" and then this continues until words turn to blood as the people begin fighting.

Im sure everyone has come across someone who likes to boast about themselves, how great they are at this game or how awsome they can play this sport or even how they are better then you, the person gains happiness through is own achievements, but unfortunitly, the person craves for more happiness and recognition that the happiness that he has now doesn't leave, making this person annoying as he is "stealing everyone elses happiness"

What people don't realize is that happiness is unlimited, and that it is their perspective that creates it, but they insist on stealing everyone elses, those bastards, they have the key to heaven but continue to corupt in the depths of hell.

Now lets go deeper into this, everyone strives for happiness, and everyone wants it, and they will claw and beg and even steal it eventually but, why?! We walk around everyday as we live out a life with no clear purpose or path, we wander and lose ourselves in the everyday flow of time.

We react to everyone and everything around us based on how we feel, how much happiness we possess, yet, whats the point of happiness?! Why is it there, we didn't ask for it, we never even thought of it, but yet it continues to make us want it from birth to death, from year to year, day to day, second to second, but did we ever really want it??

Theres no reason for it, it only exists, it is only there, it only continues to sit there in infinite quanity and make people lie, cheat, and steal to get it, we in truth... are only slaves.

We react to everything based on how we feel, so what happens if we feel nothing? What happens if there is no desire for this feeling, this intruder to our life that we let guide our decisions, that we let get so out of control that it becomes the most inportant assent in our lives, we are slaves to the guidance of emotion, we may feel like we are in control, that we make our own decisions, that we walk free and proud, but that is only wishful thinking, noone realizes that because they act and react as they feel, that they are only letting something else make choices for them, that they give up their free will and mind to something else that you let do as it pleases while we wander around and watch as it shapes the lives that we were supposively living.

What is happiness in the end? It is a material in a sense, like soil or trees, that wants to control everything, so ask yourself... are you really free, or a slave?

Happiness

Until we stop being a human doing and start being a Human being we are slaves to our individual perceptions of reality, objective or otherwise.

Happiness cannot be given, nor taken away, it can be surrendered by ourselves to our perceived reality though. Each of us is as unique as our fingerprints, so to each a difference in perspective exists. That is the nub of the issue, to retain our individual state of wellbeing and comfort, no matter the circumstance.

Starlord proffers us some great wisdom in this, both here and in the Religion thread, though he has missed my point sometimes. That has not stopped him in offering up sensible avenues of pursuit though. The soul is ephemeral and eternal, it can be happy no matter what. That is our happiness, our salvation and our vehicle through our intertwined realities.

BTW, nice post Cyber, some rumination required afore I offer a fuller reply.

Happiness

Some dictionary definitins first from Merriam Webster online.


Main Entry: hap?pi?ness
Pronunciation: 'ha-pi-n&s
Function: noun
1 obsolete : good fortune : PROSPERITY
2 a : a state of well-being and contentment : JOY b : a pleasurable or satisfying experience
3 : FELICITY, APTNESS

Thesaurus

Entry Word: happiness
Function: noun
Text: a state of well-being or pleasurable satisfaction <felt happiness at her husband's success>
Synonyms beatitude, blessedness, bliss, blissfulness
Related Word content, contentedness, satisfaction; cheer, cheerfulness, felicity, gladness; gaiety, jollity, joy; delectation, delight, enjoyment, pleasure
Contrasted Words discontent, dissatisfaction, vexation; cheerlessness, despair, desperation, despondency, hopelessness; distress, misery, wretchedness
Antonyms unhappiness

New word.

Main Entry: sat?is?fac?tion
Pronunciation: "sa-t&s-'fak-sh&n
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French, from Late Latin satisfaction-, satisfactio, from Latin, reparation, amends, from satisfacere to satisfy
1 a : the payment through penance of the temporal punishment incurred by a sin b : reparation for sin that meets the demands of divine justice
2 a : fulfillment of a need or want b : the quality or state of being satisfied : CONTENTMENT c : a source or means of enjoyment : GRATIFICATION
3 a : compensation for a loss or injury : ATONEMENT, RESTITUTION b : the discharge of a legal obligation or claim c : VINDICATION
4 : convinced assurance or certainty <proved to the satisfaction of the court>

No matches in Thesaurus for "satisfaction"

Not trying to beat a dead horse here, but I still say that "happiness" is a fleeting emotion that comes and goes, and is very over-rated by the masses for the most part. The happiness that most people speak about is really the "satisfaction" of accomplishment and fulfillment, my "enough action" equation. Problem for the masses is they're out looking for another fix of "happiness" and are totally clueless as to what would satisfy them. They wouldn't know satisfaction/happiness if it jumped up and bit them on the ass. They never take the time to reflect on what it would take to satisfy them, and then take appropriate action to produce these results. My contention is that the pursuit of satisfaction, with clearly declared standards in advance, will lead to more experiences of "happiness." People pursuing clear standards of satisfaction are happier, than those wandering through life looking for "what's next" nagged by the question "is this all there is, is this it?". We Americans are particularly addicted to the "happiness" thing. It's in our founding declaration of the right to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness". So we have a bunch of mostly clueless knuckleheads out there pursuing "happiness", who get to be victims when it's never found. Happiness is not something to be found or pursued. It is an experience that comes and goes transiently with our pursuit of life's accomlishments or the lack thereof.

The victimhood of pursuing the all elusive happiness is the slavery Cyberbomb writes about. Reading his post about becoming a slave to happiness or its pursuit, sounded an awful lot like addiction to me. Can't get it enough, always looking for more, etc. This is also a classic case of a lack of undeclared standards of satisfaction. Happiness is not a material, like a tree or a rock. It's a human emotion. Emotions by their nature are short lived and transient. The best way to get unhappy is to try to hang on to being happy once the moment has passed. You want happy? Work on getting satisfied. This takes thought and work. But how many people do you know who are consistently satisfied and "happy" with accomplishing nothing , pursuing no future outcome or different results (exception for vacations, time off, R&R of course - and even that is an accomplishment for some). "Gee honey, I had a really satisfying year of being a slug." Doesn't make sense. Our dignity and self-esteem come from the work we do and the accomplishments we attain (family, career, personal health, hobbies, etc.)

I'll shut up here. Sorry if I went on too long.

Cary

Happiness

Cary,

I have learned that if I base my happiness upon my fleeting emotional states I am slave to my emotions regarding the quantity and quality of my happiness.

However, by realizing that happiness is a state of mind, of itself, free from my mental requirements and self imposed fences, I have just freed my happiness and the only dues that I have to pay are the ones I spent to get me to that particular viewpoint.

We live in a realm of duality here. The Dark side will always be here along with it's counterpart Light. Life/death, Beeauty/uglyness, Hot/cold, what ever, each has it's place connected to it's other proper half. The secret is attention and perception. If you don't like what you see from one aspect or viewpoint, move around because there are 359 other lily pads on the great pond of life from which to look from.

Happiness

Wisdom indeed. I tried to say that, but I'm not as bright as you... apparently. :lol:

Happiness

Starlord,

I don't base my happiness on fleeting emotions. I could give a rat's ass about my happiness. Happiness is not something I pursue. At the same time, I found that when I gave up the "have to be happy" thing, I became a lot happier. The point of all my slobbering over this thread is that happiness is elusive and transitory, and is not attainable if pursued. I'd rather focus on what I can accomplish with my family, health, business, community, etc. You're either a contribution or a drag on those around you. I tend to opt for contribution, even if it means I have to do the damned dishes. I hate doing the damned dishes, but gives my wife and daughter immense pleasure when I do, which is farily oftern. That results in a lot more "happiness" for me - as in satisfactin of accomplishment and contribution. Maybe I'm not being clear or we have a US / Britain disconnect. I think we're saying the same thing, just out of different perspectives. Being American of the old school, I tend to see things from a "results not reasons" perspective. You either have desired results or reasons why not. The reasons part sucks. That doesn't mean that failing to achieve desired results falls into reasons why not, but more like "what am I missing here" and "who can I call on in my network of support to help me navigate out of my current breakdown/problem" rather than "it's all for naught, why did I even try" victim mentality. I agree that there are always almost unlimited perspectives not seen when adopting one perspective. But to just to jump to one that justifies/placates the current circumstance sounds somewhat defeatist from my perspective. Never give up, never say die, if that's what you're committed to. IMO, that's what's missing from the current American malaise and victimhood, which grows by the day. And, yes, I probably sound like an American capitalist pig. Don't give a rat's ass about that either. It's becoming more and more a "dog eat dog" world. Are you going to eat or be eaten? I plan on being full at meal time. I tried the "starving artiste" thing. Didn't really care for it. Poverty sucks. Money can't buy you happines, but it damned sure doesn't buy you poverty. I'm not making any assessments of your current personal financial situation, just speaking out of my own experience. We can sit around in some cosmic interpretation of life and be "happy" with that, but it don't pay the freakin' rent. My interpretation is we're here to learn and contribute. Like it or not, it's really hard to contribute to others if you're dead broke, but happy. I'm not saying that financial accomplishment is the be all, end all. IMO contribution to others and a keen sense of accomplishment are pretty close to the mark.

I'll shut up before this gets too long. Thanks for your perspective.

Cary

Happiness

Heh, thx Grayson, lets see if I can bring it to the point better this time.

You said in your first post "I have learned one thing from my recent experience. Happiness is essential to life." Experiences are funny as they tend to cancel each other out sometimes and make it seem like there is no "right" answer if you have walked "on both sides of the road".

Im going to use an example of someone insulting another, because it seems like it is one of the greatest problems going around in this day and age.

When someone is insulted, there are many ways someone can react, the most common is the other person gets angry because the insult may have hurt their pride in some way or something along those lines. This person gains a constant but ultimatly insignificant happiness feeling from that pride, and that person wants his happiness back, he can't stand being without it, so he insults the person back and this goes back and forth until another event happens (fight is the most common).

Not only do these people become unstable from the rush of emotions, but also dangerous because once a person lets their emotions get so out of control they can't stop, even if they want to, that invisable force drives them further and further telling that person what to do, and because he is so dependent on these forces he will follow them to the end even if a part of this poor person wants to turn back.

This is undenyable, almost every person in this world can relate to this in a simular situation, people who don't follow emotions yet and just live in the world ( babies) are mostly the only exemption.

Now there is more to this example then the meaning of the cause and the result, lets look closer at what would happen in this situation. When these people have argued and will not allow their pride to be pushed aside and their happiness diminished, anger over flows and they will fight, but wait... whats this?! many transformations have happened, do you know what they are?! Happiness is spread out and expressed through other emotions, part of happiness turns to pride, and then that pride is turned to resent, then anger, then when all is said and done, the winner gains more happiness, and the loser becomes depressed that he was owned by that rat bastard, who walks high with his greater pride.

(If I am going to make any mistakes in what I am saying, its going to be below this line)

Happiness became all of these emotions, it became resentment, anger, and other dangerous forces. There is something wrong with this already, anger, resentment, arn't these all those evil emotions that everyone is screaming "nazi" about and saying that they are so wrong and immoral and all of this other wrong things that these completely ignorent, pityful, and utterly stupid people who are now STARTING TO EXPRESS THESE EMOTIONS THEMSELVES WHICH THEY COMDEMN UPON OTHER PEOPLE AND TRY TO MAKE THEM FEEL WRONG AN... erm, yeah, anyways, so would I be wrong if I said that happiness, anger, and resentment are one and the same, just expressing itself differently?! But for some reason you believe now because of something that happiness is essential to life? And would I also be wrong if I were to say that happiness is the same as all other emotion, even the lowest, most resented ones, the ones everyone else accuses others of being while they act the same themselves and are no better if not worse?(unhappiness is a lack of happiness so don't you dare think of using it as a counter for that statement , as it is not the same as happiness)

Now that im done with that part of the half example/half rant, its time to look at a way without happiness.

Say the same situation happens, someone insults the other, but the insulted doesn't respond with pride, but instead just responds by saying that person is wrong, instead of a counter insult, because there is no need or desire to use one without that invisable master guiding him. Now not only is the person not able to respond with anything sensible, but he has also lost part of his pride, even tho what he is saying is a lie just to make the person is angry, just saying that he is wrong feels wrong for no reason, he will continue to insult just for the sake of it, but ultimately has already lost.

Since it is late I need to end this message where it is right now, but as I see happiness is a third person, and that people have to stop listening and working with it, we were born with it but never asked for it, it was just always there, endlessly wasting our time and bending our ideals towards its favor while claiming its better then all others yet is the same and no better.

Happiness

Okay, one more time for all you Brits (Starlord, you sound British, and I know Grayson is, Cyber I believe you're American, but what the hell). A good friend of mine has recently written a book. I haven't read it (planning to), but it comes out of some training/education we both went through. He was a student in a couple of courses I taught on the subject, and I helped him a little in transitioning his consulting practice to the discipline of Ontology of Language. He decided to make a career out of it as a corporate consultant. He was already doing that from his Arthur Anderson days (now Accenture) and the whole TQM movement that swept through corporate America back in the 1990's. He found this education to be a much more effective way of helping companies and individuals in their endeavours (I even spelled that like a Brit in honor of you guys). His book "Language and the Pursuit of Happiness" can be found at Chalmers Brothers & Assoc. No, you don't have to buy the book, but there are parts of the book you can read on the site by clicking on the "Preview and Purchase My New Book" button. I saw that Julio Olalla wrote the forward for the book. You probably don't know who Julio Olalla is, but he's one of the pre-eminent coaches/teachers of the Ontology of Language out there today. Check it out, if you're up to it, and let me know what you think. If you find the reviewable parts interesting, you might consider buying the book. I would think you'd find it fascinating, or at least very entertaining.

Yeeha,

Cary

Happiness

Wow, that's my favourite subject and sole spreadable mission combined in one book (one book title?). It should be mine.

Happiness

It's a little too textbookey for me. But this guy? His name is really CHALMERS BROTHERS? Sounds like a comedy duo, or a smalltown insurance agency or real estate agents. I had a good laugh at this mans expense, and he doesn't even know it. Hey Cary, do me a solid bro? Let him know I laughed at his name and then tell him I'm sorry he has that name.
Unless he likes it. Then tell him it is a nice name. a wonderfully nice name. (someone pet me on the head).

Happiness

Hack,

I'd pat you on the head, but what would people say. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I have a real jester hat, that I got in Scotland. PM me your mailing address and I'll send it to you with my compliments. You're certainly deserving of a crown for your new found role here.

You can be one cruel mofo there bub. Yes, that's his name, "Chalmers Brothers." It's southern, and I'm sure he's very proud of his name. He is one hell of a cool guy, and you'd be priviledged to meet him. I'd tell you his wife's name, but you'd probably make fun of that too. She goes by Dr. Brothers professionally, and no her first name is not "Joyce". I won't be a participant in your cruel hoax on my good friend or his name. Why don't you email him and tell him I gave you his site as reference to the book? Then you can insult his name all you want. He might just laugh his ass off once he found out you were from Neeww Yooorrk Ciiittyy (drawn out southern twang) and that you bought a duck. Don't take this as any offense on my part. I actually laughed a bit. Feigned indignation is a southern tradition.

Why you scaliwag! You swine! You carpet bagger! Yooouuuu Yankee! You suh, have no honor, and I hear that you won't be received by polite society in your own hometown. I hear that members of your own family will have nothing to do with you! Ohhh, the outrage! The scandal! The utter tragedy of it all! (A fair maiden swoons in the background due to the "vapors.") QUICK! Get some smelling salts, an innocent could not bear this charlatan's presence!

Was that feigned enough? I feel that my honor has been satisfied.

Cary

P.S. I'm serious about the jester hat. It's really cool, multiple colors, bells, and all. I used to put it on the head of different staff members briefly when they'd screw up in a small way. I wore myself a couple of times. Big screw ups....well you don't want to know how those ended.

Re: Happiness

Happiness can almost always be found in the bottom of a bottle of cheep gin
chug-a-lug