Did you ever think that you may not be the only one looking for answers?
My hope for you is that someone DOES investigate you and finds out what is going on and gets you the help you need.
Iam no one. I cannot help you.
Listen carefully.
I..do..not...know ...you.
However You never know who could be reading these posts. Everyone from time travelers to aliens to interdimensionals
To gov. Agencies To things we cannot even think of and to regular people like me.
You are drawing attention to yourself.