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Spirituality & Mysticism
Am i dead?
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<blockquote data-quote="label" data-source="post: 225781" data-attributes="member: 5940"><p>hi everyone it has been a while... </p><p></p><p>Anyhow lets get into this. </p><p></p><p>Firstly let me say i am deeply spiritual but open to questions like the one i am asking here. </p><p></p><p>For the past few days it feels like i am in the matrix. My life is just hitting a wall and it is the same wall and I am tired that i sleep in my dreams. Needless to say i have depression and with that some other "thoughts" does inter into my mind from time to time. </p><p></p><p>But i can't bring myself to feel anymore. Seriously it is as if i can't feel anymore. </p><p></p><p>Everything inside of me is broken and fundamentally burned out to the point that i can't get out of this hole. </p><p></p><p>Then it hit me... i am dead... </p><p></p><p>The life i am living now isn't a life it is just memories and i pass on from one set of memories to the next and as much as i try to remember all of them i can't because it is impossible. Don't get me wrong i have a good memory and i use it to torture myself on a day to day base BUT the parts that are good is missing from my mind. </p><p></p><p>i have no good memories anymore... My life became a collection of sadness and pain and i feel that this must be a prerequisite for my final destination and i fear it might be hell and all the horror that lives in hell has my number... So i try to push back get out of this mindset but i can't. </p><p></p><p>So again i think i am just memories... i don't believe this life is real anymore i don't believe i can change a single thing and i don't think i can move on anymore. It is as if my soul is trapped and my body is not real anymore. </p><p></p><p>Is this hell? </p><p></p><p>I think it might be or soon will be as my life is just not working out. </p><p></p><p>So i think i died i think this world is a lie and i believe this because nothing good happens anymore. It is just pain, more pain and sadness. </p><p></p><p>Perhaps i lost my mind, maybe it is my way of coping but i think i am in hell.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>thank you for reading.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="label, post: 225781, member: 5940"] hi everyone it has been a while... Anyhow lets get into this. Firstly let me say i am deeply spiritual but open to questions like the one i am asking here. For the past few days it feels like i am in the matrix. My life is just hitting a wall and it is the same wall and I am tired that i sleep in my dreams. Needless to say i have depression and with that some other "thoughts" does inter into my mind from time to time. But i can't bring myself to feel anymore. Seriously it is as if i can't feel anymore. Everything inside of me is broken and fundamentally burned out to the point that i can't get out of this hole. Then it hit me... i am dead... The life i am living now isn't a life it is just memories and i pass on from one set of memories to the next and as much as i try to remember all of them i can't because it is impossible. Don't get me wrong i have a good memory and i use it to torture myself on a day to day base BUT the parts that are good is missing from my mind. i have no good memories anymore... My life became a collection of sadness and pain and i feel that this must be a prerequisite for my final destination and i fear it might be hell and all the horror that lives in hell has my number... So i try to push back get out of this mindset but i can't. So again i think i am just memories... i don't believe this life is real anymore i don't believe i can change a single thing and i don't think i can move on anymore. It is as if my soul is trapped and my body is not real anymore. Is this hell? I think it might be or soon will be as my life is just not working out. So i think i died i think this world is a lie and i believe this because nothing good happens anymore. It is just pain, more pain and sadness. Perhaps i lost my mind, maybe it is my way of coping but i think i am in hell. thank you for reading. [/QUOTE]
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