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Psychic Ability & Powers of the Mind
Attribute or Fault?
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<blockquote data-quote="thenumbersix" data-source="post: 26623" data-attributes="member: 393"><p><strong>Re: Attribute or Fault?</strong></p><p></p><p>I used to be very shy as I grew up and into my 20s. You mention your laziness, don't worry most of us are inherently lazy, don't let this be an excuse, do you drink or take drugs ?</p><p></p><p>I also found the realisation that not everybody in the world is watching and judging yourself to have been a great help. And also, if they are judging, you have to wonder what their reasons are, they are usually not nice, ie. to put you down, as they see you as an easy target due to the shyness, with the ultimate goal of boosting their own fragile ego, this is a common scenraio and the fault lies with them, not you, see them for the thoughtless and scared people they are !</p><p></p><p>Keep telling yourself that you really don't give a **** what others think but not to the point of being rude or totally arrogant (a little is ok in helping get yourself out of this rut, it can be dealt with later in your life if it becomes an issue). If you feel like doing something, then do it and see it through to the point that you either start finding you're enjoying it, or until you realise you don't actually like it, in that case try something else.</p><p></p><p>Don't allow yourself to go to the other extreme and become a ridiculous extrovert, try and find a happy medium or you will keep going from one extreme to the other, as an extrovert you will be more prone to being 'knocked back' to your shy state until you 'boost' yourself out of it again and most likely will become even more extrovert the next to be knocked back to a greater shyness... etc. in a never ending loop..</p><p></p><p>Shyness is not that bad a character flaw, you might find that a lot of people will see you as thoughtful and considerate as you don't jump up and start shouting whatever bull**** comes into your head at the time.</p><p></p><p>Don't be dissapointed if you don't change overnight, don't be afraid of other people, behind all of their brashness they are just as petrified by social pressures as yourself, they are simply dealing with it in another way..This is an important point, try to see that other people are afraid, in certain situations that you find worrying about yourself, see how they deal with it, even confide in a good friend you can trust to be discrete, gain understanding in social interaction, people watch (is a fascinating sport).</p><p></p><p>You have made the first step by posting your worries here, that shows a lot more strength than you would believe, focus now on the next positive step you want to take, if it doesn't go fully to plan, don't worry, just try again !</p><p></p><p>Don't chose something monumental either like asking a complete stranger out, though if someone sparks up a conversation with you and the fear jumps up in your throat try and get out a few words, offer him/her a drink or excuse yourself for a second. While you're away calm yourself down, breath slowly rationalise the situation - They started to speak with you, they like you or find you interesting or just want a chat- Once calm go back and continue. Even if you think you made a hash of it don't worry there are more fish in the sea, besides they will more likely see that you are just shy and find that endearing and will think you brave cos you are dealing with it.</p><p></p><p>A simpler exercise, try ordering at a bar or when at a shop counter, do it without feeling fear, they are there to serve you and they see hundreds of people a night, what makes you different ? Keep thinking about it as you do it, very quickly you can rationalise your fear and you will conquer it ! There is never a point of failure that can not be overcome with persistence. Your friends will see a slow change in you and soon enough one of them will point out that 'you seem happier' or something along those lines.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="thenumbersix, post: 26623, member: 393"] [b]Re: Attribute or Fault?[/b] I used to be very shy as I grew up and into my 20s. You mention your laziness, don't worry most of us are inherently lazy, don't let this be an excuse, do you drink or take drugs ? I also found the realisation that not everybody in the world is watching and judging yourself to have been a great help. And also, if they are judging, you have to wonder what their reasons are, they are usually not nice, ie. to put you down, as they see you as an easy target due to the shyness, with the ultimate goal of boosting their own fragile ego, this is a common scenraio and the fault lies with them, not you, see them for the thoughtless and scared people they are ! Keep telling yourself that you really don't give a **** what others think but not to the point of being rude or totally arrogant (a little is ok in helping get yourself out of this rut, it can be dealt with later in your life if it becomes an issue). If you feel like doing something, then do it and see it through to the point that you either start finding you're enjoying it, or until you realise you don't actually like it, in that case try something else. Don't allow yourself to go to the other extreme and become a ridiculous extrovert, try and find a happy medium or you will keep going from one extreme to the other, as an extrovert you will be more prone to being 'knocked back' to your shy state until you 'boost' yourself out of it again and most likely will become even more extrovert the next to be knocked back to a greater shyness... etc. in a never ending loop.. Shyness is not that bad a character flaw, you might find that a lot of people will see you as thoughtful and considerate as you don't jump up and start shouting whatever bull**** comes into your head at the time. Don't be dissapointed if you don't change overnight, don't be afraid of other people, behind all of their brashness they are just as petrified by social pressures as yourself, they are simply dealing with it in another way..This is an important point, try to see that other people are afraid, in certain situations that you find worrying about yourself, see how they deal with it, even confide in a good friend you can trust to be discrete, gain understanding in social interaction, people watch (is a fascinating sport). You have made the first step by posting your worries here, that shows a lot more strength than you would believe, focus now on the next positive step you want to take, if it doesn't go fully to plan, don't worry, just try again ! Don't chose something monumental either like asking a complete stranger out, though if someone sparks up a conversation with you and the fear jumps up in your throat try and get out a few words, offer him/her a drink or excuse yourself for a second. While you're away calm yourself down, breath slowly rationalise the situation - They started to speak with you, they like you or find you interesting or just want a chat- Once calm go back and continue. Even if you think you made a hash of it don't worry there are more fish in the sea, besides they will more likely see that you are just shy and find that endearing and will think you brave cos you are dealing with it. A simpler exercise, try ordering at a bar or when at a shop counter, do it without feeling fear, they are there to serve you and they see hundreds of people a night, what makes you different ? Keep thinking about it as you do it, very quickly you can rationalise your fear and you will conquer it ! There is never a point of failure that can not be overcome with persistence. Your friends will see a slow change in you and soon enough one of them will point out that 'you seem happier' or something along those lines. [/QUOTE]
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