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Psychic Ability & Powers of the Mind
Happiness
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<blockquote data-quote="CaryP" data-source="post: 5776" data-attributes="member: 34"><p><strong>Happiness</strong></p><p></p><p>Interesting post Grayson. Here's my take on happiness. I agree that it's a fleeting emotion. It comes and goes throughout the day. Coffee already being made by the time you wake up = happy (unless you have the expectation that someone else is supposed to have already made it). Spilling part of breakfast on your work clothes and you have to change = unhappy. Being surprised by the very light traffic on the way to work = happy (unless you dread going to work, and prefer the heavy traffic). Running out of gas on your way to work = unhappy. I'm sure you get the picture</p><p></p><p>But the range of emotions available to us at any one time is dependent on the mood we're in, especially the mood(s) we tend to live in most of the time. A discipline I've studied over the last 17 years or so is the Ontology of Language. Great distinctions for effective action as human beings. From this discipline are four primary moods that most humans operate out of: </p><p></p><p>Peace - acceptance of the "facts" of life</p><p></p><p>Ambition - acceptance/embrace of the possibilities of life</p><p></p><p>Resentment - rejection of/conflict with the "facts" of life</p><p></p><p>Resignation - rejection of/conflict with the possibilities of life</p><p></p><p>Peace and ambition come as a pair. So do resentment and resignation. Kind of hard to be peaceful and resigned, or ambitious and resentful at the same time. Living out of peace and ambition will experience a lot more "happy" moments. Living in resentment and resignation will still experience "happy" moments, just less of them.</p><p></p><p>So is happiness something to be pursued? My take is no. It comes and goes. Life is a big training ground or school if you will. To be learning is to experience problems or breakdowns. Do you know anyone who's figured it all out, and doesn't need to learn anything at all? I don't. So while we're all here in the cosmic kindergarten, our ongoing learning process called life will hand us breakdowns causing temporary absence of happiness.</p><p></p><p>I prefer to pursue satisfaction. What is satisfaction? Lot's of definitions to go around there, but this is my favorite because it boils it down succinctly. Satisfaction equals enough action. In other words </p><p></p><p>if I make $X per year, I'll be satisfied, </p><p>if I live in X kind of house and neighborhood I'll be satisfied, </p><p>if I meet X conditions of health and fitness, I'll be satisfied, </p><p>if I have X conditions in my relationship/marriage I'll be satisfied</p><p>if I have $X a month to live on in retirement, I'll be satisfied</p><p>if I achieve X position at work, I'll be satisfied</p><p>if I could lower my gold handicap to X, I'll be satisfied</p><p>if I could learn X hobby/sport/trade, I'll be satisfied</p><p>you get the picture</p><p></p><p>Problem is most people (Americans are my overwhelming experience) don't have a clue about what would be enough action for them to be satisfied - in almost every aspect of their lives - totally clueless. There's a general malaise of "this ain't it" and "what's missing". Generally, what's missing is some reflection and soul searching for what would be "satisfaction" in their lives (i.e. what kind and how much action produced by them would result in satisfaction in the different areas of life). Most people just aren't that rigorous. Not are they not only clueless about what satisfaction is, they don't even know what the question is (what would it take to satisfy you here?). There's a "victim" mentality of "this ain't it" "what's missing" "why isn't my life perfect, and who's fault is it." Why have lawsuits become a veritable religion in the US? We've denagrated into a culture of resigned, resentful, whining victims looking for someone else (God, the government, society, luck, the cosmos, the lottery, anybody will do) to hand us that magic "something" (money, better relationships, better job, better <u>place your current source of unhappiness here</u> ) that will suddenly transform our lives into one non-ending happy fest. Unfortunately, it don't work that way little children. Does this apply to everyone? Absolutely not. My commentary here is about societal trends. Resigned and resentful are the norm - most of the mind numbing, sleep walking masses, quietly (sometimes loudly) leading those lives of desperation as Mr. Thoreau pointed out. </p><p></p><p>That's why people who live primarily in peace and ambition are such a treat. They light up a room. We're attracted to them. They stand out. I'm not talking about vicious, aggressive sharks whose ambition is to never have enough, but always covet more. These types are usually the least happy - they never have enough and they know it. I'm talking about the rare people who seem to know where they're going, and work diligently to get there, while empowering others along the way. Warren Buffett of Berkshire Hathaway fame is probably one of my favorite examples. I would venture that some of the coaching "greats" also fit the bill here.</p><p></p><p>The other breakdown with satisfaction is demanding a result in areas beyond our control. The really everyday, bite you on the ass example is other people. If only he/she would just be/not be like that...I'm sure you know this one. Other examples here could fill volumes... all the crap people whine about on a daily basis that is totally out of their control, yet they have some huge emotional investment in being dissatisfied and "unhappy" about it. It becomes one of their "raisons d'etre." A lot of what I'm talking about here are those "facts" of life. How many people do you know that are in denial of, non-acceptance about, raging against the machine about common stuff you can't change like;</p><p></p><p>your age</p><p>your sex</p><p>your height</p><p>your race</p><p></p><p>your looks (yes, cosmetic surgery can change a person's looks, but how many beauty queens have you heard about having major insecurities about their looks)</p><p></p><p>your past relationships (friends, parents, children siblings included, not just love interests. Know anyone bitter over ex-spouses, damaged relationships with one or more family members?)</p><p></p><p>your past in general (You can't change the past actions you've taken, but you can change the interpretation.)</p><p></p><p>This post is getting longer than I intended so I'll conclude here. </p><p></p><p>If you want to experience more happiness, you have to be clear about what satisfaction is for you in a lot of areas of your life. The more the better. Over time you'll will have to redeclare what is satisfaction. Over time what satisfies you will change. Life is an ongoing process of learning. What satisfies you today will not satisfy you after new learning over time. Some area of life causing you problems? Ask yourself the question, "what would satisfy me here?" You have to be able to answer the question in terms of ACTION YOU can take (yes, you have to get off your ass and do something) to eventually accomplish desired results. The really BIG satisfactions usually don't come easily or quickly. It's easier to accomplish the BIG satisfactions if you break them down into a series of smaller, but progressive satisfactions. If you're asking the question "does this have something to do with goal setting?" uh, yeah. Goals give us direction and purpose. Their acheivement gives us the learning along the way, and the SATISFACTION upon completion.</p><p></p><p>If your dissatisfaction/unhappiness can not be resolved by your actions (i.e. changing other people, changing the '"facts" of life, etc.) you might as well get over it, accept it, and embrace it so you can have PEACE about it. Of course you can opt to continue suffering about it, but you'll experience less happiness.</p><p></p><p>If you've made it to here. Thanks for reading. Sorry to be so long winded on a Sunday morning. Kinda "preachy" of me huh. :lol: (Oh, God, I just used a damn smiley face! What's happening to me???)</p><p></p><p>Cary</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CaryP, post: 5776, member: 34"] [b]Happiness[/b] Interesting post Grayson. Here's my take on happiness. I agree that it's a fleeting emotion. It comes and goes throughout the day. Coffee already being made by the time you wake up = happy (unless you have the expectation that someone else is supposed to have already made it). Spilling part of breakfast on your work clothes and you have to change = unhappy. Being surprised by the very light traffic on the way to work = happy (unless you dread going to work, and prefer the heavy traffic). Running out of gas on your way to work = unhappy. I'm sure you get the picture But the range of emotions available to us at any one time is dependent on the mood we're in, especially the mood(s) we tend to live in most of the time. A discipline I've studied over the last 17 years or so is the Ontology of Language. Great distinctions for effective action as human beings. From this discipline are four primary moods that most humans operate out of: Peace - acceptance of the "facts" of life Ambition - acceptance/embrace of the possibilities of life Resentment - rejection of/conflict with the "facts" of life Resignation - rejection of/conflict with the possibilities of life Peace and ambition come as a pair. So do resentment and resignation. Kind of hard to be peaceful and resigned, or ambitious and resentful at the same time. Living out of peace and ambition will experience a lot more "happy" moments. Living in resentment and resignation will still experience "happy" moments, just less of them. So is happiness something to be pursued? My take is no. It comes and goes. Life is a big training ground or school if you will. To be learning is to experience problems or breakdowns. Do you know anyone who's figured it all out, and doesn't need to learn anything at all? I don't. So while we're all here in the cosmic kindergarten, our ongoing learning process called life will hand us breakdowns causing temporary absence of happiness. I prefer to pursue satisfaction. What is satisfaction? Lot's of definitions to go around there, but this is my favorite because it boils it down succinctly. Satisfaction equals enough action. In other words if I make $X per year, I'll be satisfied, if I live in X kind of house and neighborhood I'll be satisfied, if I meet X conditions of health and fitness, I'll be satisfied, if I have X conditions in my relationship/marriage I'll be satisfied if I have $X a month to live on in retirement, I'll be satisfied if I achieve X position at work, I'll be satisfied if I could lower my gold handicap to X, I'll be satisfied if I could learn X hobby/sport/trade, I'll be satisfied you get the picture Problem is most people (Americans are my overwhelming experience) don't have a clue about what would be enough action for them to be satisfied - in almost every aspect of their lives - totally clueless. There's a general malaise of "this ain't it" and "what's missing". Generally, what's missing is some reflection and soul searching for what would be "satisfaction" in their lives (i.e. what kind and how much action produced by them would result in satisfaction in the different areas of life). Most people just aren't that rigorous. Not are they not only clueless about what satisfaction is, they don't even know what the question is (what would it take to satisfy you here?). There's a "victim" mentality of "this ain't it" "what's missing" "why isn't my life perfect, and who's fault is it." Why have lawsuits become a veritable religion in the US? We've denagrated into a culture of resigned, resentful, whining victims looking for someone else (God, the government, society, luck, the cosmos, the lottery, anybody will do) to hand us that magic "something" (money, better relationships, better job, better [u]place your current source of unhappiness here[/u] ) that will suddenly transform our lives into one non-ending happy fest. Unfortunately, it don't work that way little children. Does this apply to everyone? Absolutely not. My commentary here is about societal trends. Resigned and resentful are the norm - most of the mind numbing, sleep walking masses, quietly (sometimes loudly) leading those lives of desperation as Mr. Thoreau pointed out. That's why people who live primarily in peace and ambition are such a treat. They light up a room. We're attracted to them. They stand out. I'm not talking about vicious, aggressive sharks whose ambition is to never have enough, but always covet more. These types are usually the least happy - they never have enough and they know it. I'm talking about the rare people who seem to know where they're going, and work diligently to get there, while empowering others along the way. Warren Buffett of Berkshire Hathaway fame is probably one of my favorite examples. I would venture that some of the coaching "greats" also fit the bill here. The other breakdown with satisfaction is demanding a result in areas beyond our control. The really everyday, bite you on the ass example is other people. If only he/she would just be/not be like that...I'm sure you know this one. Other examples here could fill volumes... all the crap people whine about on a daily basis that is totally out of their control, yet they have some huge emotional investment in being dissatisfied and "unhappy" about it. It becomes one of their "raisons d'etre." A lot of what I'm talking about here are those "facts" of life. How many people do you know that are in denial of, non-acceptance about, raging against the machine about common stuff you can't change like; your age your sex your height your race your looks (yes, cosmetic surgery can change a person's looks, but how many beauty queens have you heard about having major insecurities about their looks) your past relationships (friends, parents, children siblings included, not just love interests. Know anyone bitter over ex-spouses, damaged relationships with one or more family members?) your past in general (You can't change the past actions you've taken, but you can change the interpretation.) This post is getting longer than I intended so I'll conclude here. If you want to experience more happiness, you have to be clear about what satisfaction is for you in a lot of areas of your life. The more the better. Over time you'll will have to redeclare what is satisfaction. Over time what satisfies you will change. Life is an ongoing process of learning. What satisfies you today will not satisfy you after new learning over time. Some area of life causing you problems? Ask yourself the question, "what would satisfy me here?" You have to be able to answer the question in terms of ACTION YOU can take (yes, you have to get off your ass and do something) to eventually accomplish desired results. The really BIG satisfactions usually don't come easily or quickly. It's easier to accomplish the BIG satisfactions if you break them down into a series of smaller, but progressive satisfactions. If you're asking the question "does this have something to do with goal setting?" uh, yeah. Goals give us direction and purpose. Their acheivement gives us the learning along the way, and the SATISFACTION upon completion. If your dissatisfaction/unhappiness can not be resolved by your actions (i.e. changing other people, changing the '"facts" of life, etc.) you might as well get over it, accept it, and embrace it so you can have PEACE about it. Of course you can opt to continue suffering about it, but you'll experience less happiness. If you've made it to here. Thanks for reading. Sorry to be so long winded on a Sunday morning. Kinda "preachy" of me huh. :lol: (Oh, God, I just used a damn smiley face! What's happening to me???) Cary [/QUOTE]
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