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Levinson for President
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<blockquote data-quote="wrlarsen" data-source="post: 6534" data-attributes="member: 67"><p><strong>Levinson for President</strong></p><p></p><p>Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. </p><p></p><p>Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement." </p><p></p><p>Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire." </p><p></p><p>Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough." </p><p></p><p>Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft." </p><p></p><p>Problem: "The autopilot doesn't." </p><p></p><p>Signed off: "IT DOES NOW." </p><p></p><p>Problem: "Something loose in cockpit." </p><p></p><p>Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit." </p><p></p><p>Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear." </p><p></p><p>Solution: "Evidence removed." </p><p></p><p>Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud." </p><p></p><p>Solution: "Volume set to more believable level." </p><p></p><p>Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield." </p><p></p><p>Solution: "Live bugs on order." </p><p></p><p>Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent." </p><p></p><p>Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground." </p><p></p><p>Problem: "IFF inoperative." </p><p></p><p>Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode." </p><p></p><p>Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick." </p><p></p><p>Solution: "That's what they're there for." </p><p></p><p>Problem: "Number three engine missing." </p><p></p><p>Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="wrlarsen, post: 6534, member: 67"] [b]Levinson for President[/b] Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement." Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire." Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough." Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft." Problem: "The autopilot doesn't." Signed off: "IT DOES NOW." Problem: "Something loose in cockpit." Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit." Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear." Solution: "Evidence removed." Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud." Solution: "Volume set to more believable level." Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield." Solution: "Live bugs on order." Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent." Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground." Problem: "IFF inoperative." Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode." Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick." Solution: "That's what they're there for." Problem: "Number three engine missing." Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search." [/QUOTE]
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