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Make your own dang pies you lazy sonsabeeches
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<blockquote data-quote="Harte" data-source="post: 146388" data-attributes="member: 443"><p>Pumpkin pie.</p><p>I said earlier from scratch (sort of) because I use canned pumpkin puree. I've made it with real pumpkins and if you want to know how I can tell you later.</p><p>Here's the ingredients I use (four beaten eggs - for two pies - are not shown here):</p><p>[ATTACH]5708[/ATTACH] </p><p>The plastic container at right is granulated sugar.</p><p></p><p>Put the pumpkin in first - take my word for it. Then add your spices and mix it up real good.</p><p>[ATTACH]5709[/ATTACH] </p><p>Then add the sugar and mix it up real good again:</p><p>[ATTACH]5710[/ATTACH] </p><p>Put in the eggs and mix until the eggs are completely combined.</p><p>[ATTACH]5711[/ATTACH] </p><p>Note - eggs have this little white tissue attached to the yolk. There's nothing wrong with that except it doesn't mix in. If you don't want unsightly white chunks in your bite of pie, you need to take a moment to remove these things. I usually can get them out with a fork before I beat the eggs but if you keep a close eye on it you will see them when you get the eggs stirred in. They are easy to remove from the mixture with your fingers at that point - just keep stirring the mix over until you think you got them all.</p><p></p><p>Now it's time to add the evaporated milk. I know some people used sweetened condensed milk, but those people are idiotic buffoons.</p><p>I've heard of using cream for this. I don't think that would be in any way idiotic, I've just never done it.</p><p>When you add the milk, add it slowly while stirring all the time. If you just dump it all in, you'll have quite a time getting it all stirred in. If you use a mixer, you're beating air into your mix - don't do that.</p><p>[ATTACH]5712[/ATTACH] </p><p>Stir while you add, and after. Stream it in from the can. Be sure you've got it all stirred in - you can easily tell by the color. At this point I'm usually scraping down the sides of the bowl and stirring - don't want to waste any of that delicious mix. I used to tell my friends the only thing better than pumpkin pie is a girl handling your johnson.</p><p></p><p>Since I always make (at least) two pies, I use a ladle to get the mix into the shell:</p><p>[ATTACH]5713[/ATTACH] </p><p>I don't really do it as pictured. I had no camera help. Usually I hold the bowl over the pie shell and ladle it in. This keeps accidental drips off the edge of your crust. Not that there's anything wrong with those drips on your crust - it's just that they get dark and you look like you don't know what you're doing in the pie department if you have them. Use a spatula to get all the good stuff out of the bowl and into the shell, unless you made too much. In that case, put the extra in a ramekin and bake it in the oven with your pies only not as long. That's your "cook's privilege."</p><p></p><p>This mixture is very liquid, but sets nicely. So, when you go to put your pie in the oven, try not to splash the mixture out of the shell and all over your floor. When you set it on the rack in the oven (450 F for 15 minutes, then 325 for about 45 min to an hour,) ease it onto the rack and gently slide it back so you don't rock the pumpkin filling boat and splash into your nice "clean" oven.</p><p></p><p>After the pies are done, let them cool completely. I start out on a cold burner and after about 30 minutes or so move them to my counter top. When they are completely cooled, I take a sheet of glad wrap about the size of the pie and lay it over the top. Let it touch the pie filling. It will lift back off when you want some and won't mess up the pie at all. Like dis:</p><p>[ATTACH]5714[/ATTACH]</p><p> </p><p>Refrigerate the pies overnight, or until you can't stand it anymore.</p><p>Serve with whipped cream all over the slice. If you use non-dairy or Cool Whip I'm coming to your house to kick your ass.</p><p></p><p>Harte</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Harte, post: 146388, member: 443"] Pumpkin pie. I said earlier from scratch (sort of) because I use canned pumpkin puree. I've made it with real pumpkins and if you want to know how I can tell you later. Here's the ingredients I use (four beaten eggs - for two pies - are not shown here): [ATTACH]5708[/ATTACH] The plastic container at right is granulated sugar. Put the pumpkin in first - take my word for it. Then add your spices and mix it up real good. [ATTACH]5709[/ATTACH] Then add the sugar and mix it up real good again: [ATTACH]5710[/ATTACH] Put in the eggs and mix until the eggs are completely combined. [ATTACH]5711[/ATTACH] Note - eggs have this little white tissue attached to the yolk. There's nothing wrong with that except it doesn't mix in. If you don't want unsightly white chunks in your bite of pie, you need to take a moment to remove these things. I usually can get them out with a fork before I beat the eggs but if you keep a close eye on it you will see them when you get the eggs stirred in. They are easy to remove from the mixture with your fingers at that point - just keep stirring the mix over until you think you got them all. Now it's time to add the evaporated milk. I know some people used sweetened condensed milk, but those people are idiotic buffoons. I've heard of using cream for this. I don't think that would be in any way idiotic, I've just never done it. When you add the milk, add it slowly while stirring all the time. If you just dump it all in, you'll have quite a time getting it all stirred in. If you use a mixer, you're beating air into your mix - don't do that. [ATTACH]5712[/ATTACH] Stir while you add, and after. Stream it in from the can. Be sure you've got it all stirred in - you can easily tell by the color. At this point I'm usually scraping down the sides of the bowl and stirring - don't want to waste any of that delicious mix. I used to tell my friends the only thing better than pumpkin pie is a girl handling your johnson. Since I always make (at least) two pies, I use a ladle to get the mix into the shell: [ATTACH]5713[/ATTACH] I don't really do it as pictured. I had no camera help. Usually I hold the bowl over the pie shell and ladle it in. This keeps accidental drips off the edge of your crust. Not that there's anything wrong with those drips on your crust - it's just that they get dark and you look like you don't know what you're doing in the pie department if you have them. Use a spatula to get all the good stuff out of the bowl and into the shell, unless you made too much. In that case, put the extra in a ramekin and bake it in the oven with your pies only not as long. That's your "cook's privilege." This mixture is very liquid, but sets nicely. So, when you go to put your pie in the oven, try not to splash the mixture out of the shell and all over your floor. When you set it on the rack in the oven (450 F for 15 minutes, then 325 for about 45 min to an hour,) ease it onto the rack and gently slide it back so you don't rock the pumpkin filling boat and splash into your nice "clean" oven. After the pies are done, let them cool completely. I start out on a cold burner and after about 30 minutes or so move them to my counter top. When they are completely cooled, I take a sheet of glad wrap about the size of the pie and lay it over the top. Let it touch the pie filling. It will lift back off when you want some and won't mess up the pie at all. Like dis: [ATTACH]5714[/ATTACH] Refrigerate the pies overnight, or until you can't stand it anymore. Serve with whipped cream all over the slice. If you use non-dairy or Cool Whip I'm coming to your house to kick your ass. Harte [/QUOTE]
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Make your own dang pies you lazy sonsabeeches
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