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Traveller's Tale
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<blockquote data-quote="taykair" data-source="post: 169622" data-attributes="member: 9418"><p style="text-align: center">Chapter Six</p> <p style="text-align: center">Wilderness (1982-1991)</p><p></p><p>After the night the old man visited me, I went crazy for a little while.</p><p></p><p>I could simply leave it at that, and thus make the final chapter of this part of the story the shortest one as well, but I suppose a bit more description wouldn't hurt. Let's start with some "before and after" scenes:</p><p></p><p>Before that night, I was working two jobs in order to make enough money to get into a local Bible college. My goal was to be a pastor. After that night, I quit both jobs, forgot all about a seminary education, and was really wondering whether I was worthy enough to even sit amongst a congregation of believers, much less stand before them and preach to them.</p><p></p><p>Before that night, I was engaged to be married to Amy - a sweet, wonderful, Christian (of course) girl. My goal was to be a good husband and the father of many children. After that night, I broke off the engagement. No. Even worse. I behaved so badly towards her that she broke it off. Husband? Father? I wasn't even man enough to simply tell her that it was over.</p><p></p><p>Before that night, I had lived in the same little town I'd been raised in. My goal was to be a pastor in one of my town's many Baptist churches and become a pillar of my community. After that night, I packed my few possessions into my little car and moved away. I left my Bible behind.</p><p></p><p>Imagine. A twenty-three year old running away from home.</p><p></p><p>I moved to a small city, miles and miles away from the little town where my life began - and ended. I wanted to be where nobody knew or cared about me, and where I didn't have to care about anyone or anything. Escape. Escape. That was the only thing on my mind.</p><p>I spent my days drifting from one job to another. I spent my nights getting drunk or stoned or sleeping with strangers. Oh, yes. It had come late, but adolescence had finally kicked in. Sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll! The abstinent, clean, sober Christian boy had become a doped-up, degenerate loser of a man. If Gramma had still been alive, she would have spoken a single word which would have completely described me.</p><p></p><p><em>Sinner.</em></p><p></p><p>I won't go into the lurid details of that decade of my life. If you want pornography, then there plenty of other places on the internet where you can go. Suffice it to say that I was not choosy. Women. Men. Hell, I would have taken on barnyard animals if they had been available. I didn't care. About them. Or myself.</p><p></p><p>There was something more to the life I was leading than mere delayed adolescence, however. Something very important - vitally important to me at the time. I had discovered a way to make the Place of Light go away. I had discovered that if I could get high enough, or drunk enough, or if I had a warm body next to me at night, then I could stay in my own body. No more bad dreams.</p><p></p><p>There are those who claim that drugs are a gateway to a higher state of consciousness, or to enlightenment. For me, they had the opposite effect, and I was grateful for the peace and quiet. That I was killing myself slowly was not even a consideration at the time.</p><p></p><p>And so, we reach the end of the first part of my tale. Needless to say, I did not kill myself. After all, you're reading this, aren't you? No, my friend, there's more of the tale to be told. And, if you think that some of the things I've told you are strange, then just wait. We haven't gotten anywhere near strange yet.</p><p></p><p style="text-align: center">End of Part One</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="taykair, post: 169622, member: 9418"] [CENTER]Chapter Six Wilderness (1982-1991)[/CENTER] After the night the old man visited me, I went crazy for a little while. I could simply leave it at that, and thus make the final chapter of this part of the story the shortest one as well, but I suppose a bit more description wouldn't hurt. Let's start with some "before and after" scenes: Before that night, I was working two jobs in order to make enough money to get into a local Bible college. My goal was to be a pastor. After that night, I quit both jobs, forgot all about a seminary education, and was really wondering whether I was worthy enough to even sit amongst a congregation of believers, much less stand before them and preach to them. Before that night, I was engaged to be married to Amy - a sweet, wonderful, Christian (of course) girl. My goal was to be a good husband and the father of many children. After that night, I broke off the engagement. No. Even worse. I behaved so badly towards her that she broke it off. Husband? Father? I wasn't even man enough to simply tell her that it was over. Before that night, I had lived in the same little town I'd been raised in. My goal was to be a pastor in one of my town's many Baptist churches and become a pillar of my community. After that night, I packed my few possessions into my little car and moved away. I left my Bible behind. Imagine. A twenty-three year old running away from home. I moved to a small city, miles and miles away from the little town where my life began - and ended. I wanted to be where nobody knew or cared about me, and where I didn't have to care about anyone or anything. Escape. Escape. That was the only thing on my mind. I spent my days drifting from one job to another. I spent my nights getting drunk or stoned or sleeping with strangers. Oh, yes. It had come late, but adolescence had finally kicked in. Sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll! The abstinent, clean, sober Christian boy had become a doped-up, degenerate loser of a man. If Gramma had still been alive, she would have spoken a single word which would have completely described me. [I]Sinner.[/I] I won't go into the lurid details of that decade of my life. If you want pornography, then there plenty of other places on the internet where you can go. Suffice it to say that I was not choosy. Women. Men. Hell, I would have taken on barnyard animals if they had been available. I didn't care. About them. Or myself. There was something more to the life I was leading than mere delayed adolescence, however. Something very important - vitally important to me at the time. I had discovered a way to make the Place of Light go away. I had discovered that if I could get high enough, or drunk enough, or if I had a warm body next to me at night, then I could stay in my own body. No more bad dreams. There are those who claim that drugs are a gateway to a higher state of consciousness, or to enlightenment. For me, they had the opposite effect, and I was grateful for the peace and quiet. That I was killing myself slowly was not even a consideration at the time. And so, we reach the end of the first part of my tale. Needless to say, I did not kill myself. After all, you're reading this, aren't you? No, my friend, there's more of the tale to be told. And, if you think that some of the things I've told you are strange, then just wait. We haven't gotten anywhere near strange yet. [CENTER]End of Part One[/CENTER] [/QUOTE]
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