Peregrini
Member
- Messages
- 465
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one... but the light bulb has to 'want' to change.
Just one... but the light bulb has to 'want' to change.
Forum Game Whats The Best Joke You Know?
- Thread starter jon
- Start date
- Messages
- 12,585
If the light bulb happens to want to change, will it change on its own?
kcwildman
Beastmaster
- Messages
- 3,049
why did the strawberry cross the road????
heard mom was in a jam
heard mom was in a jam
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- 2,937
What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
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Roberto.
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Roberto.
NerdyGilr3
Member
- Messages
- 276
A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”.
“Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks the patient.
The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”
“That's terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”
The doctor replies, “I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.”
“Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks the patient.
The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”
“That's terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”
The doctor replies, “I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.”
jon
Member
- Messages
- 311
hahahahaha
Peregrini
Member
- Messages
- 465
It's hard to wait for the weekend. After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F!
Peregrini
Member
- Messages
- 465
Ok, one more from me...this thread should be more active. Laughter IS the best medicine.
AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
3.. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR AFEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE ATIMER.
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
7.. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
3.. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR AFEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE ATIMER.
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
7.. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
kcwildman
Beastmaster
- Messages
- 3,049
why don't blondes eat pickles?????
can't get there head in the jar
can't get there head in the jar
Peregrini
Member
- Messages
- 465
An elderly couple were sitting in their front room watching TV when the old man said, " I'm going into the kitchen for ice cream. Do you want some?" The old woman said, "Sure." as he got up and added, "You better write this down. The doctor says your memory isn't that good anymore." He said,"I can remember ice cream." She said,"But I want whip cream on mine so you better write it down." He said,"I can remember ice cream and whip cream." She said ,"But I want nuts on mine too. You better write it down." He snapped back," Ice cream, whip cream, and nuts. I can remember that." and stomped off into the kitchen. He banged and clanged around for about half an hour and returned and set a tray up and placed a plate of eggs and bacon in front of her. She looked at the plate and then up at him and said," SEE. I told you, you'd mess this up!" He held his hands up and said," What??" She replied...."Where's my fuckin toast??"