Forum Game Humor thread

T

Timescape

New Member
Messages
8
Re: Humor thread

<span style=\'color:black\'><span style=\'font-family:Arial\'>Neither did I. I thought it was a golf term</span></span>
 
K

KiraSjon

Member
Messages
172
Re: Humor thread

(Once Again) DISCLAIMER: <span style=\'color:red\'>NOT FOR THE EASILY OFFENDED!!</span></span>

<span style=\'color:red\'>you have been warned :p


LIVING WILL

I, _______________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hand of peckerwood politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't do so ever again. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a special
law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead to the health, education and future of the millions of Americans who aren't in a permanent coma and who nonetheless may be in need of nourishment.

Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case. I don't care how many fundamentalist votes they're trying to scrounge for their run for the presidency in 2008, it is my wish that they play politics with someone else's life and leave me alone to die in peace.

I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and/or crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own damn business, too.
If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make his or her existence a living hell.
Click to expand...
 
StarLord

StarLord

Senior Member
Messages
3,187
Re: Humor thread

A group of Americans, retired teachers, recently went to France on a tour.

One of these was Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, who arrived in Paris by plane.

At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on bag.

"You have been to France before Monsieur?" the Customs officer asked sarcastically.

Mr. Whiting admitted that yes, he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready" snipped the Frenchman.

Mr. Whiting replied "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show my passport"

"Impossible!! Americans always have to show their passports on arrival to France!"

asserted the Customs officer loud enough to draw much attention.

The American seinor gave the French Custom Officer a long hard look.

In a equally loud voice Mr Whiting explained "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha

Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate your country, I could not find any

Frenchmen to show my passport to!"
 

Top