Graveyard Hound
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Best joke? Why it is "Congress represents ALL the people."
Forum Game Whats The Best Joke You Know?
- Thread starter jon
- Start date
Crethox
Junior Member
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- 110
Inner peace
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives. Some doctor on TV this morning said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished so I have managed to finish off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, a pockage of Prungles, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valiuminun scriptins, the res of the chesescke an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how bludy fablus feelin rite now. Plaese sned dhis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov iennr pisss. An telum,u blody luvum
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives. Some doctor on TV this morning said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished so I have managed to finish off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, a pockage of Prungles, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valiuminun scriptins, the res of the chesescke an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how bludy fablus feelin rite now. Plaese sned dhis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov iennr pisss. An telum,u blody luvum
Graveyard Hound
Member
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- 474
The best joke I have heard recently, if repeated, would get me into sooo much trouble, plus some civil rights issues that I as a manager can't get into. BUT, let me say it is funny as HELL!!!
Kes.R.
New Member
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- 20
(Best joke I can think of...)
SOPA.
SOPA.
Graveyard Hound
Member
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- 474
BIGGEST JOKE? THE CURRENT PRESIDENT HAVING BEEN ELECTED.
Peregrini
Member
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- 465
One day Obama and Biden were traveling cross country campaigning in Obama's million dollar motorhomes. They stopped in a small midwest town for fuel and Obama and Biden stepped out to stretch their legs when they noticed a small boy sitting on the curb with a box next to him. Obama walked over to him and asked, "What's in the box?" The boy replied "Kittens." Obama asked, "What kind are they?" to which the boy replied, "They're Democrats." Obama looked around but as yet there was no media with them so he just rubbed the boy's head and said, "Good for you." and they went on their way.
During the return trip with all the major media groupies now in tow they stopped for fuel again and as chance would have it, in the same small town and sure enough the boy was sitting on the curb with the box. Obama gathered his minions around him and approached the boy and again asked, "What's in the box?" Again the boy replied, "Kittens". Smiling big Obama asked, "What kind are they?" to which the boy replied, "They're Republicans." Aghast, Obama stammered, "wha..? Bu..? How..? Just 2 weeks ago you said they were Democrats..!" The boy looked up and smiled and replied, "Yea, but now their eyes are open".
During the return trip with all the major media groupies now in tow they stopped for fuel again and as chance would have it, in the same small town and sure enough the boy was sitting on the curb with the box. Obama gathered his minions around him and approached the boy and again asked, "What's in the box?" Again the boy replied, "Kittens". Smiling big Obama asked, "What kind are they?" to which the boy replied, "They're Republicans." Aghast, Obama stammered, "wha..? Bu..? How..? Just 2 weeks ago you said they were Democrats..!" The boy looked up and smiled and replied, "Yea, but now their eyes are open".
Peregrini
Member
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- 465
A farmer was out behind his barn fixing a fence when a USDA agent arrived. The agent told the farmer he was going to inspect the entire farm but the farmer cautioned him not to go in the pasture. The agent angrily displayed his badge to the farmer and said, " Do you see this badge? It tells you I can go any where on this property that I want to. No questions asked." to which the farmer said, " Ok, suit yourself."
Only a few minutes later the farmer heard the agent screaming and looked to see him running for his life across the pasture with a 2000 lb bull close behind him. The farmer, being a good citizen, yelled to the agent, "Show him your badge smart ass! Show him your badge!"
Only a few minutes later the farmer heard the agent screaming and looked to see him running for his life across the pasture with a 2000 lb bull close behind him. The farmer, being a good citizen, yelled to the agent, "Show him your badge smart ass! Show him your badge!"
jon
Member
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- 311
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.
The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that."
"Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."
The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."
The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that."
"Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."
The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."
The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
Opmmur
Time Travel Professor
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Obama, what a guy!
submitted by George Hiscox
submitted by George Hiscox