Forum Game Whats The Best Joke You Know?

[nelson]

I want to share two jokes here that made me laugh.
Two friends, who hadn't seen each other in several year, met on the street.
1st: Who are you working for now?
2nd: Same people, my wife and 4 children.

A woman’s prayers: Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him and Patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength I’ll beat him to death!

 

[Samstwitch]

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man...Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his role as our president. The old rancher said, "Well, ya know, Obama is a 'Post Turtle'." Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him, what a "post turtle" was. The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle'." The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain."You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he's elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of dumb #$%$ put him up there to begin with."

 

[Phil Wainwright]

So a guy walks into a bar with a giraffe
He says to the barman "A pint of bitter for me, and a double whiskey for The Giraffe"
A couple of minutes later, the drinks are on the bar, The giraffe bends it's neck down, gently grabs the glass with it's teeth, and with a flick of it's neck; downs the whiskey in one.
The giraffe then falls down dead.
The barman walks out from behind the bar, looks at the floor and then says to the chap "You can't leave that lying there"
The chap looks at the barman and says........
"It's not a lion, it's a giraffe"

 

[Khaos]

Why did the turkey cross the road?

So it could make its way into my oven.

 

[Samstwitch]

Somebody posted this under an article on Yahoo:

One night, Obama was awakened by George Washington's ghost in the White House. Obama saw him and asked, "George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?"

"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," advised George.

The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom. "Tom, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Obama asked.

"Cut taxes and reduce the size of government," advised Tom.

Obama didn't sleep well the next night, and saw another figure moving in the shadows. It was Abraham Lincoln's ghost. "Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" he asked.

"Go to the theatre."