Is It Just Me...?

deepthought

Member
Messages
166
Is It Just Me...?

How could you be so disrespectful to our illustrious leaders?

I wouldn't vote for any of them. Good job they are bi-sexual - they are out to screw us all.
 

sosuemetoo

Active Member
Messages
723
Is It Just Me...?

Originally posted by TheHeggy@Jul 12 2004, 01:11 PM
I wouldn't be surprised if he hides his stash under Abraham Lincoln's bed.


That's where Clinton hid Monica, Jennifer, and all the other women, right? ;)
 

Judge Bean

Senior Member
Messages
1,257
Is It Just Me...?

Originally posted by sosuemetoo+Jul 12 2004, 07:09 PM--><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-TheHeggy@Jul 12 2004, 01:11 PM
I wouldn't be surprised if he hides his stash under Abraham Lincoln's bed.


That's where Clinton hid Monica, Jennifer, and all the other women, right? ;)
[snapback]4485[/snapback]​
[/b][/quote]

Now wait just a minute. It depends upon what your definition of bed is. And I'm sure there was never more than one under there at any one time.
 

sosuemetoo

Active Member
Messages
723
Is It Just Me...?

Originally posted by Paul J. Lyon+Jul 12 2004, 04:42 PM--><div class='quotemain'>
Originally posted by sosuemetoo@Jul 12 2004, 07:09 PM
<!--QuoteBegin-TheHeggy
@Jul 12 2004, 01:11 PM
I wouldn't be surprised if he hides his stash under Abraham Lincoln's bed.



That's where Clinton hid Monica, Jennifer, and all the other women, right? ;)
[snapback]4485[/snapback]​

Now wait just a minute. It depends upon what your definition of bed is. And I'm sure there was never more than one under there at any one time.
[snapback]4528[/snapback]​
[/b][/quote]

Absolutely Paul, because if there were more than one under that bed at one time, there would be a "cat fight." Thus, it would depend on what your definition of cat fight is!
 

TimeWizardCosmo

Senior Member
Zenith
Messages
2,936
Is It Just Me...?

This?

catfight.jpg
 

wrlarsen

Junior Member
Messages
27
Is It Just Me...?

It'll probably be difficult to top that one, but I'll try, religiously.
And I had to change a few words if'n any kids under 18 read it.
_____________________________________________________
SUNDAY SERMON

A preacher delivered a sermon in about ten minutes one Sunday morning. That was half the usual length of his sermons.

He explained, "I regret to inform you that my dog, who is very fond of eating paper, ate that portion of my sermon which I was unable to deliver this morning."

After the service, a visitor from another church shook hands with the minister as he was leaving, and said,

"Say, if that dog of yours has any pups soon, I'd sure like to get one to give to MY preacher!"
 

wrlarsen

Junior Member
Messages
27
Is It Just Me...?

LATE? "I'm Gonna Be Late Because.... " Excuses you can use, right?
Personally, I like the last one.
________________________________________________

- My stigmata's acting up.

- I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?

- I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet...

- I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant.

- If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.

- Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.

- Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.

- I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.

- The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.

- The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.

- I prefer to remain an enigma.

- My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.

- I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.

- I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.

- I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.

- I refuse to travel to my job in the District until there is a commuter tax. I insist on paying my fair share.

- I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source, exactly e*log(pi), of the clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.
 

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