Our new esteemed Head of Homeland Security

[StarLord]

Our new esteemed Head of Homeland Security

Not only is it bad luck to disturb a pile of Farmers' Gold that has been in the sun, but once done all kinds of horrible things surface to overwhelm the kickee and the passerby.

To be in the limelight, you have to make sure that every skeleton is burried so deep that no one will ever dig it up which is nigh on impossible with current database systems.

 

[Judge Bean]

Our new esteemed Head of Homeland Security

Also, it's now a relatively easy thing to do to plant a skeleton in whoever's closet you want to degrade.

 

[CaryP]

Our new esteemed Head of Homeland Security

More news on that wild and crazy guy, old Bernie Kerik. Seems the boy is quite the lady's man.

BAD BERNIE'S LIVID MISTRESS: 'HE'S INSANE & MANIACAL'

December 15, 2004 -- WHEN titian-haired publish ing titan Judith Regan took up with former top cop Bernard Kerik, she thought she'd met her match. And vice versa.

But the illicit relationship came tumbling down, a friend of Regan's told me, not when she discovered her married lover had another mistress. It ended horribly after Regan learned Kerik's wife was pregnant.

After that jolting discovery, Regan ? as volatile, driven and foul-mouthed as any man ? began using other words to describe her lover.

\"He's maniacal. Insane,\" a terrified Regan confided in a pal. Kerik, she said, had Regan followed to Los Angeles. He showed up at her house. Threatened her.

Now that Regan has emerged as the final nail in Kerik's bid to serve as chief of Homeland Security, questions are erupting over whether Kerik's admitted mistakes ? he once used city cops to research his memoir ? extended into even more intimate areas.

One thing is clear: This man had serious issues with impulse control.

The Kerik-Regan pairing may look unlikely ? she's Vassar-bred, he's a high-school dropout. But two friends used almost identical terms to describe the duo. \"They are male and female versions of the same people,\" they said of the \"power-addicted\" couple.

One friend told me Kerik lured Regan into a relationship with the oldest line in the married man's playbook: \"My wife doesn't understand me. I'm in a loveless marriage.\"

Said the friend, \"Judith is smart. I couldn't believe she'd fall for that.\" But she was also \"crazy about the guy.\"

The yearlong affair, which began as Regan prepared to publish Kerik's memoir, was an open secret in town. Yet Regan used a \"beard\" ? a male friend with whom she pretended to be involved.

Months into the affair, Regan got a call at her office from Kerik's other mistress, correction officer Jeanette Pinero. Until then, Regan didn't know Pinero existed.

Pinero had found a love letter from Regan in the swinging bachelor pad Kerik kept in Battery Park City, and wanted Regan to know she'd been Kerik's lover for a decade.

Fiery Judith shot back, \"I don't feel as f---ed as I did before you called. You're more pathetic than I am.\"

While Regan is said to have \"flipped out\" over the call ? \"She's very territorial: 'What's mine is mine. What's yours is mine,' \" ? it did not kill things entirely.

Then less than a month later, she learned Kerik's wife was pregnant.

\"She did the math,\" said a pal. \"She said she wanted to break it off, and Kerik did not want to and he got crazy.

\"She didn't take his calls and he showed up at her apartment in person, ranting and raving. Coming home from a night out, he'd be there unexpectedly.\"

Worse, she said he threatened to poison her relationship with her two children, over whom Regan had waged, and won, an epic custody battle.

\"She told him, 'If you don't leave me alone, I'm going to call your wife.'

\"They were two crazy people. Who knows what goes on? But this was too much.\"

Lately, Kerik seemed to have rebounded. Earlier this year, I spotted him having dinner at Fresco's with another, fatter man and a pair of blond twentysomethings in skin-tight jeans and fur coats. Until last week, he was bound for the Homeland Security post.

Regan was at a business meeting when she heard of the nomination. She ran out.

\"She was in shock,\" said one observer. \"She couldn't believe it. I think she knew this was all going to come out.\"

Since the news broke of their affair, said the friend, Regan has been \"hysterical.\"

She's worried about her daughter. Oddly, she's also concerned about Kerik.

\"I don't want to see him pulled apart,\" she said.

Her friend replied, \"Why the hell is she protecting him after all this?\"

Perhaps there's more.

I wonder what the second choice is going to "look like" in comparison.

Cary

 

[StarLord]

Our new esteemed Head of Homeland Security

That's the other sad part of having people in the limelight, you have to put up with seeing their dirty laundry day after day. It's not like these people are just like the rest of us, right? Just like swiming in the ocean with a bunch of sharks nearby and you cut yourself. What harm besides being human has this poor guy done I wonder.

 

[Judge Bean]

Our new esteemed Head of Homeland Security

I suggest that this thread be renamed something like "Our New Esteemed Bush Appointee," to accomodate what will probably be a whole soupline of sorry-ass, busted-luck, harebrained alsorans that will be coming to our headlines soon.

 

[StarLord]

Our new esteemed Head of Homeland Security

Does being a hairbrained alsoran qualify one for hazardous duty pay due to the obvious lack of grey matter between the ears? Of course, the hazardous duty pay would be for those that have to work under and around the alsoran.

Wait a min, didn't one of those wear dresses and have information on almost every single person here in the states about 20 years ago?

 

[CaryP]

Our new esteemed Head of Homeland Security

Wait a min, didn't one of those wear dresses and have information on almost every single person here in the states about 20 years ago?

Ah, memories of J. Edgar Hoover. What a total (think of something really bad). BTW did anyone here that Kerik resigned from Gulliane and Partners? Seems his old friend wants the smell of his carcass away from the "respectful and polite society." When the sharks are circling, there's blood in the water. This boy is bleeding out. How else does a former limo drive for old Rudy rise so fast, get so rich and have the connections that Kerik does in such a short time? He's being taken out as the fall guy cause he got caught with his pants down, in more ways than one.

Cary

 

[Judge Bean]

Our new esteemed Head of Homeland Security

A lot of "drivers" for mob bigshots in the old days became bigshots themselves-- Capone himself, if I remember it right, started out as Torrio's personal driver.

Hoover's driver had responsibilities that probably never made it to any dossier.