Do you wanna know what sucks? A few people found out I had cancer and disappeared from my life. My cousin (a survivor) said that people are afraid to be close to people with cancer because they might die. I'm not even dying! It's amazing how the truth comes out when something major happens in your life. You really find out who your true friends are and honestly, family (and not even all of them!) are the only ones you end up trusting in the end. I'm grateful to have wonderful parents and children.
People need to either be told or realize on their own that this is the perfect time to get closer, not farther, from you.
People do this for many reasons. Often it's just that they don't know what to say and they're afraid of causing you pain with their remarks. They don't realize the pain they cause with the absence of their presence in your life, regardless of what they might say while they're with you.
IMO, the thing to do is try to put them at ease. I know it should be working the other way, but you should try to make friends feel comfortable around you - they're probably afraid they'll upset you.
Start cracking a few jokes about the disease, the chemo, the radiation or whatever. That ought to loosen up the
real friends, and mortify the ones who are not.
Harte
