I appreciate everyone's concerns I'm a grown up I have lost my son and I grieve everyday and cry and I will till the day I die he was my child. As it stands right now I do not have my son and if just if there is a chance it could work I'm willing to except Pegii and mariyas help they may or may not be able to help me but at least there trying which I so appreciate and if they can't my circumstances are no different are they. I've talked to people I've talked to parents that lost there child doesn't help. So if they may be able to that would be the greatest thing and if not like I said I've already lost my child no one can make things any worse. I'm not stupid I know you can't just flip a switch and my son is back but I also believe and had believed when my son was here that so many things are possible we have no idea. So I'm willing and greatful to Pegii and Mariya for TRYING to help me and if it works hooray I will be elated and if not I still appreciate that they at least tried to help me.
Do what you need to do to feel better, but please talk to someone --- counselor/therapist to cope with your feelings as well.