Weird Thing
Moved this as I posted it in the wrong place initially? :huh:
Pyro: I would expect carry a number of items when investigating wierd events such as these and I will detail them and the purpose here.
Flask of coffee: To maintain an alert and watchful state.
Compass: Aliens may use Gravimetric manipulation and/or Elecromagnetic drives for their ships. In the presence of such, a compass will go barmy and you'll know it's the real McCoy.
A copy of any SETI book by Carl Sagan, as a kind of how to manual.
A copy of The Hitch hikers Guide to the Galaxy, in case the Aliens have a sense of humour and a spare Babel-fish to hand.
A flashlight: To illuminate pranksters hiding under Glow-in-the-dark bedsheets.
A nice shiny aluminium baseball bat: In case the Aliens haven't heard of Carl Sagan or Douglas Adams and aren't aware that they are supposed to be friendly.
A mobile phone: Once captured, this phone which is hidden up your arse, can be used for maybe one short call as you accelerate at Mach 40 out of the atmosphere. Don't call Nellis AFB as they've had enough with yoofoe's lately.
Ring Domino's and order a 30 minute pizza... it will find you anywhere in the galaxy, so when it does, ask the delivery man for a lift home.
This may seem mocking in tone, but you've got me panicking and my British stiff upper lip has failed me and the Dark-side of the Farce has taken me.
(I am to be known as Dark Raver from now on. *Hissss, huffff... hissss, huffff...*)