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How much money do we have to crowdfund to give 100 intercontinental nuclear missiles to Ukraine?

Reading the news about how much UK politicians spend on their extravagant luxury trips. If only they had waited for a 20% discount like I did, we would have paid the same price. Now I pity them because you don't get a good trip for only 9000£, you get transfer with a non-english speaking driver taking you to the wrong airport, because most high-end trips are a rip off.

Why can't I have a cute little polar bear cub as a pet?

Watching the doomsday clock and waiting for people to count down "3, 2, 1, happy nuclear winter!".

The subway train almost derailed, because it had to drive at full speed while changing lanes to avoid a collision, due to Sweden's new traffic planning system that was criticised ahead of its launch. Sparks illuminated the tunnel as wheels lifted from the rail and passengers flew around. Just missed the opposing subway train going full speed against us on the same lane.

When it was finally over and I was on the bus, loud bangs could be heard from different directions and police cars responded.

Bought a set of vegan tweezers online. Guess some dogs they didn't test it on must be full of ticks by now.

Traveled in the Stockholm subway while wearing my ushanka hat because it was cold outside. Everyone walking in my direction gave me lots of free space by turning away with horrified expressions. A man on the subway train stared at my thick beard and then jumped and almost fell when I looked back at him.

Got a well paid job in the game industry after long term unemployment. Must be karma finally paying back.

The rich smell of brie cheese in my kitchen told me that it was time to cut my toenails.

Bought a new fridge where the safety instructions stopped mid-sentence. Not sure what happened there.