Beholder

Felt the urge to wag my tail, only to realize that I don't have one.

Schools really need to teach students proper typewriting. Too many new programmers can't tell the difference between indentation and alignment. Then they contradict themselves when choosing a convention based on missunderstandings.

Scientists just found out that low pressure showers last much longer and consume many times more water in total, which has been a running joke since the 1990s. Now they wonder why someone would have to take a longer shower with a low pressure that is not strong enough to remove the greasy dirt (which does not mix with water).

Asked ChatGPT if I should become a vampire after it failed to look up any useful information.
"Becoming a vampire is a major decision with serious implications. It's crucial to consider the consequences, both positive and negative, before making such a choice. Have you thoroughly thought about what being a vampire entails and why you're considering it?"

Bought five items from the same online store with a fixed shipping price. Will get five separate packages delivered from different warehouses. Getting tired of all the shell stores and dropshipping shananigans.

It is friday now. Was it always friday, or do other weekdays really exist? Maybe someone planted false memories of weekends using hypnosis and suggestion.

Even a cup of water is getting unevenly heated in the microwave oven. Burning hot at the top, yet cold at the bottom.

Can I stop the neighbor's dog from barking by barking back, or will it keep asking if I'm okay down there?

Putin whines about getting hit back in Belgorod, but if you define justice by his own words, Belgorod would have been wiped off the map to create a buffer zone. Can't have Russia expanding right up to Ukraine's doorstep after all.

I don't have enought teflon to survive if someone releases a room temperature superliquid in a failed attempt to make a superconductor. Everything just becomes wet until everyone drown.