kcwildman
Beastmaster
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Forum Game Dumb Joke Of The Day
- Thread starter kcwildman
- Start date
kcwildman
Beastmaster
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- 3,049
BlastTyrant
Senior Member
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There's a big conference of beer producers. At the end of the day, the presidents of all beer companies decide to have a drink in a bar.
The president of 'Budweiser' orders a Bud, the president of 'Miller' orders a Miller Lite, Adolph Coors orders a Coors, and the list goes on. Then the waitress asks Arthur Guinness what he wants to drink, and much to everybody's amazement, Mr. Guinness orders a Coke!
"Why don't you order a Guinness?" his colleagues ask.
"Naah. If you guys won't drink beer, then neither will I.
The president of 'Budweiser' orders a Bud, the president of 'Miller' orders a Miller Lite, Adolph Coors orders a Coors, and the list goes on. Then the waitress asks Arthur Guinness what he wants to drink, and much to everybody's amazement, Mr. Guinness orders a Coke!
"Why don't you order a Guinness?" his colleagues ask.
"Naah. If you guys won't drink beer, then neither will I.
Peregrini
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An elderly couple were traveling cross country in their motorhome when they stopped for gas. An attendant came out to help and began a conversation with the old gentleman. He said, "I noticed from your plates your from Massachusetts". Just then the old woman, who was very hard of hearing, leaned out the window and said, " Ayyy, What did he say?" The old man replied, "HE ASKED ABOUT US BEING FROM MASSACHUSETTS." She then said, " Oh ok." The attendant then asked, " What part of Mass are you from?" The old man answered, "Boston." The old woman hollered, "Ayyy, what did he say?" The old man answered, "HE ASKED WHAT PART OF MASSACHUSETTS AND I TOLD HIM BOSTON." Again the old woman said, "Oh, Ok." Then the attendant leaned in to the old man and said, " Just between me and you, the worst piece of ass I ever had was in Boston." Again the old woman asked, "Ayyy, What did he say?" To which the old man said, "HE SAID, HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU."
trekie4ever
Member
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A chemist and a doctor walk into a bar. the chemist exuberantly asks for some H two Oh!
The doctor asked for some H2O too.
THE DOCTOR DIED!!!
The doctor asked for some H2O too.
THE DOCTOR DIED!!!
Opmmur
Time Travel Professor
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hmmmm... Muslims aren't supposed to steal from their brothers, are they?
BlastTyrant
Senior Member
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HA that last one made me think of Clint Eastwood's speech.
Opmmur
Time Travel Professor
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bimbo-itis strikes again
What is exceptionally sad about this cartoon is its distinct lack of humor. It contains too much truth to be funny. Once again, Michael Ramirez exactly skewers the temperature of America. With reference to Obama's superior attitude, this comment was sent to me by the Editor of a financial publication:
"Regarding Obama - I know a few people who have been in the room with him on a number of occasions and they say his arrogance is breathtaking. He speaks down to everyone and believes himself to be the cleverest man in the room and lets everyone know this."
Yes, it's good to be Prez, even if it's not good for the Country.
What is exceptionally sad about this cartoon is its distinct lack of humor. It contains too much truth to be funny. Once again, Michael Ramirez exactly skewers the temperature of America. With reference to Obama's superior attitude, this comment was sent to me by the Editor of a financial publication:
"Regarding Obama - I know a few people who have been in the room with him on a number of occasions and they say his arrogance is breathtaking. He speaks down to everyone and believes himself to be the cleverest man in the room and lets everyone know this."
Yes, it's good to be Prez, even if it's not good for the Country.
Peregrini
Member
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- 465
Childhood Sweethearts
An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married and settled down in their old neighborhood.
To celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary they walk down to their old school. There, they hold hands as they find the desk they shared and where he had carved "I love you, Sally".
On their way back home, a bag of money falls out of an armored car practically at their feet. She quickly picks it up, and they don't know what to do with it so they take it home. There, she counts the money and it comes to fifty-thousand dollars!
"We've got to give it back," says the husband.
"Finders keepers," she says, and puts the money back in the bag and hides it up in their attic.
The next day, two FBI men are going from door-to-door in the neighborhood looking for the money. They show up at the home of the childhood sweethearts. One knocks on the door and the couple open it, he says: "Pardon me, but did either of you find any money that fell out of an armored car yesterday?"
She says: "No."
The husband says: "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic."
"Don't believe him, he's getting senile," she says.
But the agents sit the man down and begin to question him. "Tell us the story from the beginning," says one of the agents.
"Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday ..."
At this, the FBI guy looks at his partner and says:,"We're outta here ..."
An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married and settled down in their old neighborhood.
To celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary they walk down to their old school. There, they hold hands as they find the desk they shared and where he had carved "I love you, Sally".
On their way back home, a bag of money falls out of an armored car practically at their feet. She quickly picks it up, and they don't know what to do with it so they take it home. There, she counts the money and it comes to fifty-thousand dollars!
"We've got to give it back," says the husband.
"Finders keepers," she says, and puts the money back in the bag and hides it up in their attic.
The next day, two FBI men are going from door-to-door in the neighborhood looking for the money. They show up at the home of the childhood sweethearts. One knocks on the door and the couple open it, he says: "Pardon me, but did either of you find any money that fell out of an armored car yesterday?"
She says: "No."
The husband says: "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic."
"Don't believe him, he's getting senile," she says.
But the agents sit the man down and begin to question him. "Tell us the story from the beginning," says one of the agents.
"Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday ..."
At this, the FBI guy looks at his partner and says:,"We're outta here ..."