Forum Game Dumb Joke Of The Day

Peregrini

Peregrini

Member
Messages
465
A blonde comes into an emergency room with a gun shot wound to her left index finger.
The Doctor asks; "What happened?"
Blonde; " I was trying to commit suicide."
Doctor; "By shooting yourself in the finger!"
Blonde, "No silly. I was going to shoot myself in the heart but I thought, I spent $5000 on these boobs and I didn't want to mess them up. So, I put the gun in my mouth but then I though, I spent $2000 on these teeth and I didn't want to mess them up either. So, then I put the gun in my right ear and was ready to pull the trigger when I thought, This is gonna be loud. So I put my left finger in my other ear..."
 
kcwildman

kcwildman

Beastmaster
Messages
3,049
393786_276615319106938_1309301177_n.jpg
 
Opmmur

Opmmur

Time Travel Professor
Messages
5,049
ORIGINAL CAPTION: A billboard has sparked a protest in Indiana because of its reference to the Navy Seals, and removing the President from office, has appeared along I-35 in North Texas.


120824.SEALs.billboard.jpg
 
Opmmur

Opmmur

Time Travel Professor
Messages
5,049
your tax dollars at work – like the change?

ORIGINAL CAPTION: Before anyone goes off the deep end, and accuses of being cruel or saying that I’m heartless, because I say that this program needs to be ended, let’s take a look at a few things. First of all, it is NOT the job of the federal government to feed or house anyone. This goes for some a**hole in some country half-way across the globe, as it does for people sitting on their ass, half a mile away. Nowhere in the Constitution does it say that you are guaranteed food and shelter, or that it’s the job of others to provide it for you.

Secondly, if it were going to actually feed those without means and who were destitute, I wouldn’t be half as pissed as when I find out that food stamps are being used to buy JUNK FOOD, FAST FOOD, BOOZE, and DRUGS. Food stamps are even being sold for pennies on the dollar or being used to purchase water, which is then dumped and their containers returned for a cash deposit. The entire program is rife with fraud,and it’s not going to get any better until we dismantle it.

We have a chance to turn this around, America. November is coming soon and the focus should be to vote out the wrong guy, and get someone in that will repeal all of this crap. This program is weakening us as a people and is a horrible drain on our economy.
 
Opmmur

Opmmur

Time Travel Professor
Messages
5,049
your tax dollars at work – like the change?
 

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Opmmur

Opmmur

Time Travel Professor
Messages
5,049
A Burglar and an Elderly Woman

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38!" (Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.)

The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.

As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you."

"Scripture?" replied the burglar. "She said she had an ax and two 38's!"
 
Samstwitch

Samstwitch

Senior Member
Messages
5,111
opmmur said:
the stuff nightmares are made of
Click to expand...


Opmmur, hahahaha funny! :ROFLMAO:

Of course, I must add that I don't like any of the Republican Candidates either. Speaking of Republican, GW Bush as President was a nightmare from HELL! (The worst President in my lifetime!) Unless a miracle happens, we are screwed with any of the current Presidential Candidates. (The good ones are always pushed out of the race.) Sorry to go off topic, but that picture did it for me. ;)

P.S. Waiting for Jesus...
 

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