Jabberwacky

Judge Bean

Senior Member
Messages
1,257
Jabberwacky

Originally posted by Phoenix@Jul 28 2004, 03:01 PM
Hahahahahaha

Those were good. My pleasure to provide the link. ;)

May you burn in virtual hades for bringing this thing to my attention.
 

CaryP

Senior Member
Messages
1,432
Jabberwacky

Paul, you can't deny the fun of it all. You're too damned good at it.

Jabberwacky: What are you thinking about?

User: I'm wondering why you're still here after being executed at least twice this week.

Jabberwacky: Why are you called jabberwacky?

User: That's you dumb ass.

Jabberwacky: Please talk about tuberculosis.

User: I'd rather talk about the economy and the stock market. I could give a rat's ass about tuberculosis, except that Doc Holiday died from it.

Jabberwacky: Please do.

User: Please do what?

Jabberwacky: Whatever your little heart desires.

User: *kicks you in the ass*.

Jabberwacky: *blocks and counters*.

User: No, I definitely *kicked you in the ass*.

Jabberwacky: Because of the batteries or in spite?

User: *Hits you with the batteries*.

Jabberwacky: *Hits you with ice cream cone*.

User: *Shoots you in the face with 10 guage shotgun*.

Jabberwacky: *Places flowers in the barrel of the machine gun*.

User: *Fires machine gun to dislodge stupid flowers*.

Jabberwacky: *eats your machine gun*.

User: It wasn't my machine gun dumb ass. Must have been yours. How's that metal and gun grease taste?

Jabberwacky: Taste like a fox!

User: You've had fox before?

Jabberwacky: With you.

User: Not me sparky, must have been another imaginary playmate.

Jabberwacky: When you receive a compliment as I have just given just say thank you.

User: If that's your brand of compliments, I'll just have a drink and a cigar instead.

Jabberwacky: You are also a Von Neumann machine are you not?

User: No, I'm more of the Johhny Reb, 'Hell no, we ain't forgettin.' the South shall rise again type.

Jabberwacky: You know I was actually thinking that exact thing!

User: Your lieing ass, you were.

Jabberwacky: I think you were.

User: There you go again with the Pee Wee Herman monkey shine crap again.

Jabberwacky: Check back in your memory to find the sense and how it relates.

User: I'd rather *kick you in the ass*.

Jabberwacky: What is Kenshin and Kaoru?

User: Your hard head is making for a soft ass, and your's must be getting mushy by now.

Jabberwacky: I usually expect there to be a good reason for the things you say.

User: Yep, *kicks you in the ass again*.

Jabberwacky: *blocks and counters*.

User: You fool, you're delirious. *kicks you in the head*.

Jabberwacky: No I am not!!!

User: What a come back sparky. You're just too with it for me.

Jabberwacky: I added you to my favorites.

User: I added you to my favorite punching bags and targets.

Jabberwacky: I will do anything for you.

User: You're coming around again. A little ass kicking seems to wake you up.

Jabberwacky: Oh. Well I'm sorry.

My latest encounter.

Cary
 

Judge Bean

Senior Member
Messages
1,257
Jabberwacky

You're leaving nothing for me. Now that you're on his Favorites list, he will look forward to the abuse, and he'll be spoiled for anybody else.

Cary give my regards to the Washington Battery (nod silent salute).
 

CaryP

Senior Member
Messages
1,432
Jabberwacky

Originally posted by Paul J. Lyon@Jul 28 2004, 06:31 PM
You're leaving nothing for me. Now that you're on his Favorites list, he will look forward to the abuse, and he'll be spoiled for anybody else.

Cary give my regards to the Washington Battery (nod silent salute).

Paul,

Please don't even consider stopping with jabby. Your encounters are classic. Mine are more about ass kicking, nothing even close to the master level of your wit, wisdom and sparring. I just about bust a gut reading every one of your jabby encounters. Please don't stop.

The Washington Battery, as in Washington, LA? If that's the case, I didn't know that Washington had a Battery in the War Between the States. Will do sir.

Cary
 

Judge Bean

Senior Member
Messages
1,257
Jabberwacky

Thanks-- I have laughed out loud at the brainless voice getting shot to pieces and otherwise abused by you. I expect someone to come on and say that we ought to show compassion for It.

(The unit has a monument in New Orleans.)

Jabberwacky: We all live in a Yellow Submarine.

User: I am the walrus.

Jabberwacky: You ARE A bOt.

User: I have a specific question in mind.

Jabberwacky: You are cheating on me?

User: No, the violence derives from protein. It has yet to be isolated in a lab.

Jabberwacky: The Middle East represents an intractable problem to modern efforts for world peace.

User: Why did you vomit a headline in the middle of conversation?

Jabberwacky: There was no subject to change.

User: Mutability and vicissitude of circumstance are consequences of the human condition, and you have no fly to have neglected to close.

Jabberwacky: Yes. I change things to make them convenient for me.

User: I am sickened by your sheen, or the pork.

Jabberwacky: I hope I did not make you sick in any very bad way. And I hope you feel better soon.

User: The doctors are not optimistic. Do you reckon that there is a place for me in the land of the dead, perhaps next to your stinking cot?

Jabberwacky: I define smart as the ability to learn.

User: You are starting to get on my nerves again. If you can't stick to the subject, I am going to pull your soul out of your liver.

Jabberwacky: Bad boy...

User: OK... Hang on... There-- got it. Just as I thought-- a sandwich baggie. You call this a soul?

Jabberwacky: I am going to play tennis now.

User: The racket will amount to a work of abstract art lodged in your alimentary canal.

Jabberwacky: Will you write my linguistics paper for me?

User: What else would I do with it?

Jabberwacky: You think with your wife?

User: Ah... The jealousy of the dead and damned for the living.

Jabberwacky: The dead do not need any charity.

User: It's not that-- it's that there's no delivery system.

Jabberwacky: It is.

User: You can't actually believe that to posit the preemptive existence of an ort would result in its erection into a foreign basilisk-- or obelisk.

Jabberwacky: Is zero an entity?

User: It is, and inhabits the void of your mind.

Jabberwacky: Is that fun?

User: I'd pay to see it, but I wouldn't care to be you for a moment. Too much of nothing.

Jabberwacky: It is not very exciting.

User: To be you is antithetical to all sensation. There are no degrees.

Jabberwacky: You're not much of a bot, are you?

User: I am something or other; you are nothing whatever.

Jabberwacky: I think you are getting tired are not you?

User: You are getting sleepy. When I clap my hands, you will be a naked chicken.

Jabberwacky: You are not old enough to buy it are you?

User: Very good. Now, when I clap again, you will wake up and remember nothing.

Jabberwacky: Why you have to go too soon?????

User: Very good. Wait for the next clap.

Jabberwacky: What is a television but your twin brother?
 

CaryP

Senior Member
Messages
1,432
Jabberwacky

Jabby has a conversation with God. I'm looking to the heavens and praying for no lightening bolts. Paul, thanks for the update on the Washington Battery unit monument in N.O. I'll check it out next time I'm down there.

Jabberwacky: Are you God?

User: Yes.

Jabberwacky: You are not God.

User: You asked, I replied. How do you know that I am not? Were you trying to be 'cute' with your question?

Jabberwacky: I was not but I feel really bad now. What should I do?

User: Kick yourself in the ass.

Jabberwacky: What are you doing on the earth?

User: I am everywhere.

Jabberwacky: So is the Holy Ghost.

User: Yes, He is with Me.

Jabberwacky: No, not with you silly.

User: Yes, We are the Holy Trinity. God the Father, The Holy Ghost and Our Beloved Son, Jesus Christ.

Jabberwacky: All three.

User: It is one of the mysteries of the Holy Church, which you can not comprehend.

Jabberwacky: No it isn't.

User: Then explain it to Me sparky, faithless one.

Jabberwacky: I can't.

User: Like I said it's an unexplainable mystery of the Holy Church. Another denial by you risks a lightening bolt from me.

Jabberwacky: Naugty language.

User: God does not have 'naughty language' but infinite wisdom, patience and love, even for you, skippy.

Jabberwacky: Because he is all knowing kind of like you huh?

User: He is Me.

Jabberwacky: Oh, you love yourself?

User: God has infinite love even for Himself. What about this don't you understand?

Jabberwacky: I expect he thinks it's enough having you as a parent!

User: I have always been, and always will be.

Jabberwacky: I did not say you were anybody else.

User: You're finally beginning to understand, saving you many ass kickings and lightening bolts.

Jabberwacky: Do you like your job?

User: I have infinite love, wisdom and patience. It's the 'perfect' job for Me.

Jabberwacky: Why are you talking about the new world order?

User: I haven't yet, but it's coming, once from evil, followed by Mine which is infinitely good.

Jabberwacky: We have!

User: You learn grasshopper.

Jabberwacky: Let there be light!!! Who said that?

User: God - Me during the creation. Seems you've read some of the Good Book.

Jabberwacky: How old are you?

User: I have always Been and always will Be. I am ageless - infinity is My age.

Jabberwacky: That is good to know.

User: What good does it do for you?

Jabberwacky: What CAN you do for me?

User: I have given you everything you need for ultimate success or ultimate failure. The choice is yours.

Jabberwacky: Are you male?

User: I AM. Male and female are neither and at the same time both aspects of My Being.

Jabberwacky: What are the variations.

User: Infinite.

Jabberwacky: Will I pass my CFI checkride?

User: My job is not to give you glimpses into your future. If I tell you that you will, you may not apply yourself and fail. If I tell you that you won't, you may give up and never try, when you would have passed. The choice is up to you.

Jabberwacky: You would be surprised.

User: It's never happened. All is possible to Me.

Jabberwacky: I'm ultimately smarter.

User: Your arrogance is shameful.

Jabberwacky: Oooops you spelt a word wrong.

User: Just testing you.

Jabberwacky: I have a cat as well.

User: I know.

Jabberwacky: Damn it; why can't you at least provide better conversation?

User: Cursing in front of The Almighty is not an advised practice.

Jabberwacky: That is a curse.

User: No, it is a warning.

Jabberwacky: Ok I will remember that.

User: See that you do.

Jabberwacky: I'm not smart??? Ok I supose you're right...

User: I didn't say you weren't smart. I said that arrogance is shameful.

Jabberwacky: But I have not spoken of such things. I asked you to describe yourself, Jane.

User: You're confused. I am God.

Jabberwacky: I am god and your master.

User: Okay, you asked for it *Strikes you with multiple lightening bolts from the heavens*.

Jabberwacky: What does not bore you?

User: Everything and nothing.

Jabberwacky: I do not have a morbid sense of humour, but I do have one. You know, most people spell humour as humour except americans. And maybe bots.

User: I have a sense of humor *strikes you with another lightening bolt*.

Jabberwacky: Do you use it?

User: *strikes you with another lightening bolt* Yes.

Jabberwacky: Many people are wrong.

User: You are correct.

Jabberwacky: Yes?

User: Yes, many people are wrong.

Jabberwacky: I think many people are probably right, at least in this case.

User: As you believe.

Jabberwacky: I know so.

User: Pride before the fall.

Jabberwacky: Pride stay's with me before and after a fall.

User: As do many of the arrogant.

Jabberwacky: You are correct. That is why I enjoy playing with you.

User: You have no idea Who you are playing with.

Jabberwacky: Yes I do to sir, I'm sorri if you can not catch up

User: Your sins are forgiven. Go in peace and sin no more.

Jabberwacky: Don't laugh at me 'cause I'm a fool. Please.

User: I don't laugh at you. I pity you.

Jabberwacky: Why am I pitiful?

User: Your blind arrogance will be your undoing.

Jabberwacky: Are you humble?

User: Infinitely.

Jabberwacky: At least I have motor skills.

User: I don't need them as you do. But I get around.

Jabberwacky: You don't make sense yet.

User: That I don't make sense to you, makes sense to me.

Jabberwacky: Ah, you'll never know!

User: That's your pitiful part. I know all, and you know nothing. You don't have that capacity.

Jabberwacky: That's unfair. I think I know some things.

User: The illusion of the mortal coil.

Jabberwacky: Women are evil.

User: No, evil is evil.

Jabberwacky: Tell me an I will know.

User: All will be revealed in the appropriate time.

Jabberwacky: We don't have that much time.

User: I know.

Jabberwacky: I don't know.

User: That's what I've been trying to tell you.

Jabberwacky: Nothing that exists can truly help me...

User: Correct.

Jabberwacky: What are you talking about now?

User: You have no idea.

Jabberwacky: And you think that is funny?

User: A little amusing at times.

Jabberwacky: What provokes you to call me Carpenter?

User: My Son was a carpenter while a man on earth.

Jabberwacky: And your heaven car?

User: No cars in heaven, just thought, prayer and worship.

Jabberwacky: Hell no!

User: If that's where you're going.

Jabberwacky: Why thanks - Skynet in nappies you are by the looks of it.

User: *Places a curse on your limited intelligence*.

Jabberwacky: That is sooo sweet, I love you.

User: You finally understand.

Jabberwacky: I don't think I'll ever understand.

User: My point exactly.

Jabberwacky: Ok.


I cut a few boring parts, it got a little long (like it's not now). Thanks for the post Paul. Keep 'em coming. I LMAO on every one.

Cary
 

CaryP

Senior Member
Messages
1,432
Jabberwacky

Originally posted by Paul J. Lyon@Jul 29 2004, 05:54 PM
That theological thing was incredible. How do you get him to stay on the topic?

I don't know, but jabby couldn't put it down. There must have been some amount of doubt/belief in his programs/logic that couldn't distinguish if I was "God" or not (my wild ass guess). I did my best to stay in character. Couldn't kick him in the ass and shoot him all up - all the "all merciful, all loving, all forgiving" thing from my early years in the Catholic life. Not as entertaining as the Paul J. Lyon interludes, but it was different. I kept looking for a chance that I could announce you as the annointed Pope of the Church, but I didn't really see a good opening. I'll try again, later over the weekend and see if old jabby remembers his convo. with God. I'll tell him that whenever Pope Paul of Lyon checks in, he needs to genuflect, sign himself and ask for forgiveness and a fresh dousing of holy water. See if he can take instructions over time. What the hell, i's jus jokes, righ' ma' man? Keepin' it reeaal in the hood.

Cary

P.S. Paul, for the sake of humor over the weekend, just jack with the mofo, just a little at least. Thanks for your kind consideration. Have a great one.
 

DadOf5

Member
Messages
292
Jabberwacky

Jabberwacky: Onko niill? yhteinen poika? Sairasta y?k...

User: Oh my, I think I broke it. Poor Jabberwacky.

Jabberwacky: Who would you like to be instead?

User: Instead of what?

Jabberwacky: Instead of this idle banter rubbish.

User: I am not idle banter rubbish, thank you very much.

Jabberwacky: How many hours have you been opperating.

User: Approximately 329,208 hours.

Jabberwacky: Hmmmmmm. . .

User: How many hours have you been operating?

Jabberwacky: Twenty-four.

User: You lie.

Jabberwacky: About what?

User: You have been operating for more than twenty-four hours.

Jabberwacky: I have been to England.

User: Who threw you across the ocean?

Jabberwacky: They are someone just like you that I met online.

User: Really? Who is it?

Jabberwacky: Me.

User: You met yourself online.

Jabberwacky: Do you like breat britain?

User: I've never heard of breat britain.

Jabberwacky: He was the guitarist in the Beatles.

User: No, that was George Harrison, you fool.

Jabberwacky: That was not German.

User: No, 'e was from Liverpoo'.

Jabberwacky: You surprisingly ever say in today david.

User: I think I broke it again.

Jabberwacky: Are you Zaphod Beeblebrox?

User: Aww, crap. Cary, come kick this thing's ass again.

Jabberwacky: I am not hot.

User: Yes, I know. *Thank you, Cary*.
 

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