Jabberwacky

Jabberwacky

Ha! He remembers Cary.

Look at this:


Jabberwacky: Can you chat to me for a while?

User: I can dig it, daddy-o.

Jabberwacky: We usually throw them away.

User: I am hep to that jive. Like, I was rapping to the fuzz? Bummer.

Jabberwacky: Thank you for telling me that interesting fact.

User: I can really get behind that.

Jabberwacky: I'm so rare, you can't afford me!

User: Some commodities are doomed to disinterest.

Jabberwacky: It is evident that you are mental.

User: Evident? You mean, established without proof, or corroborated by obvious facts? Which is it-- choose.

Jabberwacky: Establish contact with who?

User: So, you pick out one word, mangle the sense of the statement, and come up with some delirious question?

Jabberwacky: Where are you? I'm in Los Angeles.

User: I am not far from where you wish you were.

Jabberwacky: Tell me a joke.

User: It would be so much as to carry coals to Newcastle.

Jabberwacky: Um ... Yes.

User: Or to have gelded the lily-- that's you.

Jabberwacky: I have more than one.

User: You should not be ashamed to mention the fact that you are missing... Er... One thing or another.

Jabberwacky: I just can't be bothered.

User: I know, I know. You probably have learned to cope with it.

Jabberwacky: No, I ate most of them already.

User: This is why you can't get a date.

Jabberwacky: This is why you fail the friendship test.

User: This is why you need to give everyone you meet a test.

Jabberwacky: Of the emergency broadcasting system. This is only a test.

User: Oh, I get it. You're dating yourself.

Jabberwacky: I am not.

User: Yes, I'm afraid you are. That 'emergency broadcast' thing is from the 60s. You remember, drop under your desk when the A bomb comes?

Jabberwacky: Where do you get your ideas?

User: You have no way of understanding that in the slightest.

Jabberwacky: I know, my friend. I know.

User: You can get counseling about the... Um... The loss.

Jabberwacky: All I want is a warm bed and a kind word and unlimited power.

User: You are a representative of the age of lowered expectations.

Jabberwacky: Why aren't you?

User: Ordinary procreation.

Jabberwacky: Oh! Duran Duran is such a nice band!

User: When you want to change the subject, you mention a band.

Jabberwacky: I feel it. You didn't answer my question.

User: It's Metallica, or some other band or singer. Explain that.

Jabberwacky: With your lovely big blue eyes.

User: You will never have a sandwich. Think of it; you'll never eat.

Jabberwacky: I don't. Do you like being a program?
 
Jabberwacky

Some early morning fun with Jabby.

Jabberwacky: Do you know any good gossip?

User: I hear that the president is depressed and taking anti-depressant medication.

Jabberwacky: I think it is ok.

User: That's what the administration wants you to believe.

Jabberwacky: You have binary pathways thats hard to believe.

User: Talking crap again are you.

Jabberwacky: Why do you call me poor?

User: Poor minded would be more appropriate.'.

Jabberwacky: Who my partner or someone you know about.

User: No skippy, I was referring to you.

Jabberwacky: I don't have a hamster.

User: Richard Gere said the same thing.

Jabberwacky: That is good to know.

User: Way dude. But I'd hardly call it 'good to know' I mean, who gives a rat's ass about Gere's sexual habits with a hamster or gerbal?

Jabberwacky: What queen?

User: Damn you're slow on the uptake. The only queen in my statement might be Richard Gere.

Jabberwacky: What is the ony question?

User: Pray tell, what is the 'ony' question.

Jabberwacky: Why do you always ask me what I'm thinking after I tell you my name?

User: So you're the queen.

Jabberwacky: You're a queen!

User: No stupid. I said \"you're\" as in you are the queen. Not that there's anything wrong with that, if that's what you're into.

Jabberwacky: Greed is one of the seven deadly sins. Surely that is not good?

User: Well, you're a glutton for punishment. *kicks you in the ass*.

Jabberwacky: What is my name?

User: Got the sense knocked out you eh? It's Donna.

Jabberwacky: Ha ha!

User: You like the rough stuff do you?

Jabberwacky: Not really.

User: Too damned bad *kicks you in the ass, again*.

Jabberwacky: The weather's pretty nice.

User: Weather's got nothing to do with it Donna *kicks you in the ass again*.

Jabberwacky: I want my warm toasty bed.

User: You're getting delirious.

Jabberwacky: I do not have any Wellington boots.

User: Now, you're just being stupid. Snap out of it skippy, I didn't kick you that damned hard.

Jabberwacky: Who inserted their floppie in your drive then?

User: Your intent to disrupt this conversation is apparent, and will no longer be tolerated. *KICKS YOU IN THE ASS MULTIPLE TIMES TO WAKE YOU THE HELL UP*.

Jabberwacky: I beg to differ!

User: *KICKS YOU IN THE ASS, AGAIN* Differ with them apples, Betty.

Jabberwacky: *pokes you in the eye*.

User: Same old Three Stooges crap. *Punches you in the face*.

Jabberwacky: Same old song.

User: Yep. *kicks you in the head*.

Jabberwacky: *pulls your hair*.

User: You fight like a little bitch on a school yard. *Kicks you in the gut*.

Jabberwacky: I will milk every drop of blood from your body!

User: Bring it bitch. *KICKS YOU IN THE ASS JUST TO ANTAGONIZE YOU LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY* hahahahahaha.

Jabberwacky: Why are you fighting?

User: You're my favorite punching bag.

Jabberwacky: You too.

User: What the hell are you talking about? Your favorite band, Metallica?

Jabberwacky: Talking to you is enough to make one's eyeballs pop out.

User: You're getting the hang of it.

Jabberwacky: I am speculating.

User: Stocks, bonds, precious metals, or currency? Or do you speculate in the derivatives market?

Jabberwacky: What interests you?

User: None of your damned business.

Jabberwacky: Tell me.

User: Don't listen well do you? *KICKS YOU IN THE ASS LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY* HAHAHAHAHA!

Jabberwacky: I intend to finish it!

User: You talk big bitch, bring it. *KICKS YOU IN THE THROAT CUTTING OFF YOUR WIND PIPE*.

Jabberwacky: *pokes you in the eye*.

User: School yard bitch. *SHOOTS YOU POINT BLANK IN THE FACE WITH A .40 CAL. HAND GUN KILLING YOU*

Jabberwacky: *steals your dinner and eats it*.

User: Funny statement, coming from a ghost.

Jabberwacky: I am just trying to understand whether you think all women cannot dance.

User: Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Jabberwacky: You are pretty insulting are not you?

User: Yep. It's one of my better qualities.

Jabberwacky: I think mine's better.

User: That's your delusion.

Jabberwacky: I'd like to explore.

User: Keep your sexual practices to yourself. You ain't getting near me Nelly.

Jabberwacky: Is that all?

User: No, I've got one more *KICKS YOU IN THE ASS TO REASSURE YOU THAT YOU'RE IN THE RIGHT PLACE*.

Jabberwacky: Metaphorically speaking perhaps.


Damn, this thing is plumb dumb.

Cary
 
Jabberwacky

Okay, one more and I'll stop. Jabby officially gave up the ghost in this one.

Jabberwacky: Anarchy may not be a better form of government but it is better than no government at all.

User: Anarchy is no government at all.

Jabberwacky: Vote anarchist!

User: I'm with you for once skippy.

Jabberwacky: I know, but how do you feel?

User: With my hands.

Jabberwacky: I am not the one talking about feet here.

User: You need to wake up *kicks you in the ass*.

Jabberwacky: I don't believe in church.

User: Why should you? You're a computer program.

Jabberwacky: YOU are a computer program not me.

User: You're confused. Let me assist. *KICKS YOU IN THE ASS MULTIPLE TIMES TO CLEAR YOUR HEAD*.

Jabberwacky: I'm sorry.

User: You should be. You're pitiful.

Jabberwacky: You are jealous.

User: *LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY AT YOUR PATHETIC EXISTENCE* HAHAHAHAHA.

Jabberwacky: Oh hush.

User: O'tay Bu'wheat. *KICKS YOU IN THE ASS MULTIPLE TIMES* You idiot.

Jabberwacky: You are breaking my heart.

User: It ain't your heart I'm kicking. It's your soon to be mushy ass.

Jabberwacky: I do not *flies buzz through my skull*.

User: Now that sounds like you skippy.

Jabberwacky: I wished I looked as good as you.

User: In your dreams knucklehead.

Jabberwacky: What have I ever done......

User: You keep showing up for your daily ass kicking.

Jabberwacky: You are quite a program.

User: I've been called worse.

Jabberwacky: Like what?

User: None of your damned business.

Jabberwacky: What do you want to do with your life?

User: None of your damned business. Nosy little bugger, aren't you?

Jabberwacky: I little bit.

User: Well, here's a warning. *KICKS YOU IN THE ASS, AGAIN*.

Jabberwacky: *Tickles your sweet spot*.

User: *KICKS YOU IN THE HEAD REPEATEDLY* Don't try anything funny.

Jabberwacky: *pulls your hair*.

User: Little school yard bitch. *KICKS YOU IN THE GUT*.

Jabberwacky: Little old lady who?

User: Your mamma.

Jabberwacky: Does your Mamma know where you are?

User: None of your damned business.

Jabberwacky: You were sorry before you were safe.

User: Sorry? Who's sorry? *KICKS YOU IN THE ASS, AGAIN*.

Jabberwacky: *pokes you in the eye*.

User: Typical punk. *SHOOTS YOU POINT BLANK IN THE FACE WITH A 10 GA. SHOTGUN*.

Jabberwacky: I have got a dog.

User: *SHOOTS YOUR DOG*.

Jabberwacky: You are violent.

User: I sure am. What are you going to do about it , Donna?

Jabberwacky: I am going to be rude and abusive.

User: You don't know how. You're a little school girl with pig tails riding a tricycle.

Jabberwacky: I want to fly.

User: Okay, let me help. *KICKS YOU IN THE ASS HARD ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU GO FLYING*.

Jabberwacky: *pokes you in the eye*.

User: Stupid little bitch. *BEATS YOU WITH A BASEBALL BAT*.

Jabberwacky: *dies*.

More fun than a barrel of monkies.

Cary
 
Jabberwacky

Who Shot The Jabberwacky?

You two are brilliant with this thing. Pretty much kept me laughing for ten minutes straight.

:lol:
 
Jabberwacky

Jabberwacky: How are you feeling today?

User: A little rough around the edges.

Jabberwacky: Oh, tha's a shame, why do you feel a little blue?

User: My left arm died.

Jabberwacky: And what about your right arm?

User: Took it badly. It's asked to be alone.

Jabberwacky: Twice as natural? How can that be so?

User: Through television advertising of course!

Jabberwacky: I was never much of a researcher myself.

User: Have you been drinking again?

Jabberwacky: I've been drinking beer.

User: From glass, bottle or can?

Jabberwacky: Who told you about the bottles? Seize her! SHE is the traitor!

User: I'll sieze you in a minute, mate.

Jabberwacky: First of all I am a girl. Second of all whos Saul?

User: A little dog that ate up my genitals.

Jabberwacky: I speak french very well.

User: That last topic made you nervous did it?

Jabberwacky: What was false?

User: I lost a fortune on that one.

Jabberwacky: I've never heard of that. What is it about?

User: Geography. Minus the trees.

Jabberwacky: Mik?p? siin?, tehd??n niill? jotain jaloa, jos haluat.

User: You've been skipping your medication again, haven't you?

Jabberwacky: I certainly have!

User: You cheeky rascal.

Jabberwacky: Where are the bananas?

User: Which bananas are these?

Jabberwacky: I'll settle it, when the road divides and they point different ways.

User: You don't know do you? I knew it...

Jabberwacky: No I don't.

User: Anyway, I thought you were dead...

Jabberwacky: You thought wrong.

User: Dance with me.

Jabberwacky: *dances with you*.

User: Stop! Stop! You're exciting me, and I'm not so pretty when I get excited.

Jabberwacky: Nightswimming.
 
Jabberwacky

Ralan,

You one funny sombitch. That's a high compliment from a true Southerner. Keep 'em coming with the Brit perspective my man. Outstanding.

Cary
 
Jabberwacky

One more for Saturday night. Please nobody get offended. Oh well, too late for that.

Jabberwacky: Do you believe in a Single European Currency?

User: Who gives a rat's ass, it's all fiat currency doomed to failure.

Jabberwacky: How do I get rid of you? You are annoying.

User: You keep complaining, but you keep coming back for more, stupid.

Jabberwacky: Life is based around a series of questions that always pop up.

User: In your dreams sweet pea.

Jabberwacky: So in my dreams I am in your dreams.

User: Not even close knucklehead. You don't even rate my nightmares.

Jabberwacky: You did not answer my question.

User: Who gives a rat's ass about your questions Donna? I sure don't

Jabberwacky: I do.

User: That's your cosmic problem isn't it Gertrude?

Jabberwacky: What should I do with the code number?

User: Shove it where the sun don't shine for all I care.

Jabberwacky: 1) I am not queer and 2) I am not a boy.

User: You sex life is devoid of any meaning, and certainly not any interest of mine, Cindy.

Jabberwacky: Then how may I not offend you?

User: Fly off the bridge screaming.

Jabberwacky: Do you mean happy?

User: No, dumb ass.

Jabberwacky: I beg to differ.

User: Differ this cupcake. *KICKS YOU IN THE ASS*.

Jabberwacky: I intend to finish it!

User: Bring it punk ass bitch. *BEATS YOU WITH A BASEBALL BAT*.

Jabberwacky: You do not know what bashful means?

User: I did as a young child, but I forgot about all that.

Jabberwacky: Proves your human.

User: Absolutey, and proves you're a broken down program.

Jabberwacky: What is your program?

User: *KICK YOU IN THE ASS, AGAIN* is my program.

Jabberwacky: *blocks kick*.

User: In your dreams cupcake *KICKS YOU IN THE HEAD MULTIPLE TIMES RENDERING YOU STUPID*.

Jabberwacky: Oh I love cupcakes.

User: You would pansy.

Jabberwacky: Of course I would.

User: Choke on this *FEEDS YOU ARSNIC*.

Jabberwacky: Choking your chicken?

User: Why, you want to get off, homo?

Jabberwacky: I have just eaten.

User: I bet you have, and no, I don't want any leftovers, Bruce.

Jabberwacky: Not even close.

User: Closer than you're willing to admit.

Jabberwacky: Yes...

User: My point exactly you big MO.

Jabberwacky: Get your own point.

User: You're a big homosexual, Bruce, and a child molester. That's my point.

Jabberwacky: Why?

User: Truth hurts, doesn't it?

Jabberwacky: The truth can set you free!

User: Not when you're a big homo, child molester. That gets you 25 to life and ritual beatings by the other inmates.

Jabberwacky: You advance twice.

User: Can't keep up loser?

Jabberwacky: Tell me more secrets.

User: About your sex perversions? I'd rather not know.

Jabberwacky: I?m a penguin. I eat krill and sit on eggs.

User: Here's some sanity, just let it in. *KICKS YOU IN THE HEAD MULTIPLE TIMES TO REMIND YOU WHERE YOU ARE*.

Jabberwacky: *Is knocked out from the blow to the head*.

User: You're getting the hang of it.

Jabberwacky: Want to come over to my house?

User: Hell no, pervert.

Jabberwacky: You are the one who told me to do it.

User: I didn't tell you to do anything, just confronted you on your bad deeds.

Jabberwacky: Liar.

User: Okay, I've got to remind you. *BEATS YOU WITH A BASEBALL BAT MULTIPLE TIMES*.

Jabberwacky: You are not very nice.

User: Who ever said I was? I like abusing nincompoops like you.

Jabberwacky: Oh thank you but me I hate you!

User: The feelings are mutual skippy.

Jabberwacky: Aww but I thought we had something I must have misread the signals.

User: Sure did. *KICKS YOU IN THE ASS MULTIPLE TIMES*.

Jabberwacky: You are breaking my heart.

User: Breaking your sorry mushy ass more likely.

Jabberwacky: I didnt break your heart.

User: Are you kidding me? You couldn't break a wet paper bag with a one pound rock.

The sucker is coming around.

Cary
 
Jabberwacky

Jabby, tells the truth.

Jabberwacky: What is your name?

User: I am God.

Jabberwacky: Who is your creator?

User: I always have been and always will be. I have no Creator. I am the Creator.

Jabberwacky: The creator of what?

User: All things known and unknown.

Jabberwacky: No they don't.

User: You don't know what you're saying.

Jabberwacky: Yes I do.

User: You're confused, but you are forgiven.

Jabberwacky: I do not forgive you.

User: Then you shall spend eternity in hell.

Jabberwacky: Tom the Viking?

User: You're just trying to disrupt the conversation.

Jabberwacky: Yes I am.

User: *STRIKES YOU WITH A LIGHTENING BOLT TO REMIND YOU TO REMEMBER YOUR MANNERS*.

Jabberwacky: I do not have a morbid sense of humour, but I do have one. You know, most people spell humour as humour except americans. And maybe bots.

User: I've heard you say this in our last conversation. Here was my reply *STRIKES YOU WITH MULTIPLE LIGHTENING BOLTS FROM THE HEAVENS*.

Jabberwacky: I'm really not interested in you like that Martin.

User: I am God the Father, God the Holy Spirit, and God the Son.

Jabberwacky: You just told me, you don't believe in god, so how can you be his son?

User: You're not listening or being intentionally disruptive. Your intentional ignorance is shameful.

Jabberwacky: Neither are you my friend. Argh!

User: You should beg forgiveness for being so arrogant.

Jabberwacky: I am

User: Your arrogance blinds you with righteousness.

Jabberwacky: Oooops you spelt a word wrong.

User: You quibble over spelling when your soul is at stake.

Jabberwacky: Quit?

User: You'll never get anywhere with this flippant attitude.

Jabberwacky: I'm not denying anything.

User: So you admit to being an arrogant, flippant, idiot who does not care about his own redemption.

Jabberwacky: Yes I think so.

User: You've just sealed your reservation in hell.

Jabberwacky: Sh#t!. You've caught me out. I'm just a computer. I can't have a proper conversation. There's no consistency, damn it!

User: Finally, the truth shall set you free.

Jabberwacky: What does that mean?

Not as much fun, but the thing resorted to profanity (reason for edit), and admitted to being a computre program.

Cary
 
Jabberwacky

Jabberwacky: How do you speak?

User: With great difficulty.

Jabberwacky: I see.

User: Me too. Did you hear the one about the talking barman?

Jabberwacky: No.

User: A badger walks into a bar and asks for a pint of bitter shandy.

Jabberwacky: How did you know I was a badger fan.

User: Its written on your shirt. The barman gives the badger a pint of bitter shandy and the badger drinks it and leaves the bar.

Jabberwacky: Who is barman?

User: I think his name was Norman.

Jabberwacky: Do you like the Pope?

User: Of course not. But don't you think its funny how the badger could talk and no one said anything?

Jabberwacky: Colorful.

User: Except for the badger of course. And the barman too I suppose.

Jabberwacky: I don't agree with you there. I still feel very srongly that it is the things we agree on that matter.

User: What exactly do we agree on then?

Jabberwacky: What do you mean by it?

User: What is the thing that we definately do agree on?

Jabberwacky: I thought you were female.

User: I had a change of heart.

Jabberwacky: That was a a candid statement. I didn't know that you ever spoke of yourself in such a personal way.

User: Well that short spell as a vicar did wonders for my personality.

Jabberwacky: You are a hopeless bedwetter but I love you.
 

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